Address Confirmation

by Frederic
(Paris, France)

Ladies and gentlemen,

First I want to thank you for your very useful site.

I was in communication with a girl on the site hearts-in-love.com. After some mail exchange, I got the address from the site (a service for which I paid). Until now she didn't ask for money but some facts in her letter/behaviour rose some suspicions.

Moreover she gave me an other address stating the one I got from the agency was her parent's. So My question is simple: I'd like to know how it could be possible to confirm that one or both of these addresses his real. I do not know the Cyrillic alphabet to try the Ukrainian White Pages service.

Regards,
Frederic

Bob's Answer:

Thanks for your compliments. And there are no "ladies" here, just me :-)

Unfortunately I am not aware of any way to validate someone's address in Ukraine. Typically addresses in the former Soviet Union are all "registered". When someone relocates, they must register their new address with the government, unlike here in the U.S. So there may well be a way to track this, but I don't know of it.

And that would actually make her answer about the different address make sense. Her officially registered and stable, reliable address is her parents' address, but she lives elsewhere.

But to me it feels a bit like once one is asking these kinds of questions, they're often already on shaky ground.

I've never heard of this site so I cannot give any review based on experience, but I don't like their pay-per-letter program. And I really don't like their rationale for charging for letters as stated in their FAQs ("our brides are interested in correspondence with men that want to find their love. Payment for the correspondence at once eliminates men that are registered on the site for fun"). Hmmm, why not say that you also are only interested in women who are serious, so you need to require payment for communication to weed out those who aren't serious? :-)

They go on to explain that their are business expenses, so the site can't be free. That's fair. But how then does Elena's Models earn income? They don't charge per letter. Neither does Ukraine Date.

There you pay a membership fee and then have unlimited access to any woman you contact, and in that communication you can ask for a Skype name, private/direct email address, and request face-to-face meetings on Skype. And most importantly, YOU HAVE DIRECT COMMUNICATION WITH THE WOMEN. No intermediaries! The instant you introduce intermediaries who earn profit per letter you introduce incentives for dishonesty.

There ARE honest local agencies out there that do offer pay-per-letter services, and this may be one of them. But if you can't get a phone number or Skype address from her, I'd worry. If she doesn't speak English, arrange for your own translator (I mention a few services on my site).

When you meet in the right way and in the right context through honest services, and apply common sense, the suspicion factor practically goes away. You at least KNOW you're dealing with a real person. Then you can actually put your energy into determining whether she's a good fit for you.

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