Is she a scam?

by Andreas
(Cyprus)

Hi there, and congratulations on your site! Very helpful!

I met a girl on Elena's Models. (This a highly recommended site, where 99% of ladies are real and sincere.) Actually, she sent me an interest message. Then she disappeared for 3 months. Then, she reappeared, sending me a letter describing herself etc. After we exchanged 2-3 emails, she has invited me to her city in Ukraine.

I was surprised that within 15 days of exchanging emails, she would move that fast to meet me. Is that normal? or is she trying to lure me to her city to take advantage on me? Should I invite her to my city first where it is safer? It is very interesting that she is not sending me emails regularly. She disappears, and then all of a sudden, she appears again...

Thanks, Andreas

Bob's Answer:

Thanks for your compliments!

It does sound like you grasp the concepts of scams pretty well. Elena's Models never scams, but women can get on the site who have less than pure motives.

I have two answers to your question.

First, to the exact question: Yes. It is normal for many women on Elena's Models to want to see you after only a few emails.

On more than one occasion I've contacted women who expressed interest, and in their first letter to me wanted to know if I had any plans to visit Ukraine in the near future. I answered "No, but I usually can make plans in less than two months' time". They never answered back.

It's often simply a matter of not wanting to waste time and effort on a "virtual relationship". Remember, an attractive Ukrainian woman receives many messages. She's looking for a husband (usually), but 99% of the men who write are never going to visit, but prefer a long-distance virtual romance.

Many women on Elena's Models even state in their profiles things like "Please don't contact me if you are not ready for a real meeting soon", "I prefer real meetings over endless correspondence", etc.

My guess would be that your girl feels that 2-3 emails should be enough for both of you to know whether a real meeting is warranted, and then she's invites you for the "face-to-face audition". And I'm guessing that's her procedure, which explains why she disappears from the site. Once she meets a guy who will at least make travel plans she probably pulls her profile offline until that relationship runs its course.

That's just my guess.

So nothing in the story you have told NECESSARILY points to a scam of any sort, or her intending to take advantage of you.

And in my way of thinking, inviting her to visit you is the far greater risk. I know that Cyprus is a lot closer to Ukraine than the U.S. is, but she'd still probably think of it as an opportunity to have a nice vacation at someone else's expense if she's not completely serious. So it may be "safer" in that she won't have nearly as many opportunities to take advantage of you, but she'd be getting a $300-$400 (minimum) vacation out of you under false pretenses (assuming she's not sincere). That's a pretty good payday for a scammer :-)

What's the worst she could really do to you in her city? Probably take you to a few expensive restaurants where she'll get a kick-back, arrange for your taxis with drivers who will pay her a kickback, arrange for an apartment for you where she'll get a cut, etc. For all of these you can research and find out what the customary charges for each item are and know if you're getting scammed.

All of those things are so easy to avoid by following some of the guidance on my page Avoiding Russian Women Scams.

If you like her and are attracted to this Ukrainian woman, accept her invitation, but ARRANGE ALL YOUR OWN ACCOMMODATIONS. This includes airport pickup/drop-off, apartment/hotel, translator (if required), etc. DEFINITELY DON'T send her money to arrange your apartment/hotel in advance.

BUT try to do these things in a way that doesn't communicate the fact that you are skeptical about her motives!

I hope that helps! Feel free to post any follow up questions and I'll do my best to answer.

Good luck!

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