Realistic Expectations about Ukrainian Women?

by Tyler
(US)

Hi, my name is Tyler. I was hoping that you could help answer some general questions for me about dating/marrying Ukrainian women so I can determine if Ukraine would be the best option for me compared to dating someone from another country. Feel free to answer whatever questions you can, however extensively you feel comfortable.

About Me:

I am 25 years old and am considering pursuing foreign dating in a couple of years (I have to pay off student loans first). I make around $40,000 per year, but my expendable income is around $15,000 per year. Is there a minimum income that you think is required in order to date someone from the Ukraine? I am not sure how much money an average Ukrainian woman would expect me to spend on her with my income. Currently, I live in a 1 bedroom apartment in a town of about 1,800 people (I have always been a person for small towns, although I am fine traveling to larger cities on occasion, or for work.) Do most Ukrainian women expect to live in cities or towns, or doesn't it matter much?

I consider myself kind, considerate, and more on the intellectual side. Generally, I am one for conversation about a variety of topics. I would consider myself somewhat romantic.
The following is what I am looking for in a partner. Please notify me if these requirements are realistic or not, and if not, which ones.

I am looking for someone who is kind, considerate, caring, loving, affectionate, honest, loyal, and has a sense of humor. I also want someone who knows how to disagree and resolve issues respectfully. Personally, I would take a woman who is a "6" or "7" on a physical attractiveness scale and is personable, emotionally stable, and loving than someone who is a "10" and is manipulative, condescending, etc

I am also looking for someone who is good with kids (I am expecting to start a family in the future). I have heard from a relative who has a friend whose son married someone from Russia that the Russian wife is very cold, stern, and unaffectionate towards her child. I have no idea if this is an individual behavior that the wife has or if it reflects a general trend in how Russian or Ukrainian women parent children. If you could tell me about what the general parenting style is in the Ukraine/Russia, I would appreciate it. I also am looking for someone who does not have any kids, but I remember you recommending on your website to try not to date someone very young without any kids because women who have kids are more likely to be "settled down". Is it very difficult to find someone without kids who is settled down and knows what she wants in a relationship?

I also would like to find someone who is not into partying and does not have a long history of partying and "being around the block" (I know this probably sounds derogatory, but I am having a difficult time expressing it in more "politically correct" terms). One of the problems that I have read about from some people who have dated women from Colombia, for instance, is that there is a cultural behavior of lying about personal history and actions, like number of romantic partners, educational background, careers, etc. (I am not trying to say that ALL people there behave like this). Is this kind of problem common in dating people from the Ukraine (lying about number of partners, actions, careers, etc.)? If this is so, are there ways to "filter" through those who are likely to have had a more "wild" or "undesirable" history than those who have been more on the conservative side? I don't want to sound like a probing jerk and ask a ton of questions to my possible future partner, but it would be nice to be able to have a general idea of her history, if possible. I would be glad to be open about my personal history to someone who I dated.

I would like someone who has a career or some career goals, as most American families cannot live off of one person's income in the U.S., unless the earner is a doctor, lawyer, etc. I would not have a problem with her working as a nurse, secretary, legal assistant, technician, etc., as long as her work can be separated from her home life, which I think more American women are having a difficult time doing with an attitude of "having it all" and managing the home like they manage some of their co-workers (to be fair, there are men that also do this). I know working outside the home may be adverse to what many Ukrainian women do, but I also would like to be realistic about maintaining a livable income between my spouse and I (and our future children). If a woman has a career, is her degree and/or career usually valid in the U.S. like it is in the Ukraine?

Have you heard of any agencies trying to convince/bribe women who are dating someone from the U.S. to continue dating other U.S. clients? I have heard that some agencies try to obligate a woman who is already dating a U.S. client to continue communicating and dating other people so the translators and agencies can continue to get paid money from more clients. Have you heard of this for any of the Ukrainian agencies you recommend on your site?

Relating to visiting the Ukraine, are there any precautions about "not drinking the water" or any other health practices to use? I know some countries have unsafe water, food, living conditions, etc., and I wasn't sure how safe the Ukraine is to visit at certain times or how safe their food/water is. Are the Ukrainian families welcoming to foreigners who date one of their family members?

Thank you for considering and answering my questions.

Comments for Realistic Expectations about Ukrainian Women?

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Answer Part 1
by: Bob (Site Owner/Moderator)

Hi Tyler

Thanks for writing, and I'll do my best to answer your questions. Unfortunately the system used to manage contributions and comments only allows me to post a 3000 character comment in each comment reply, so I'll need to split my answer over several comments. This is part 1.

First, Russian/Ukrainian women come in all types, so there is not one simple answer about their financial expectations. Having said that, your income and small-town location will make things tight. But, in a smaller town your income probably goes a little farther than it would in a bigger city.

But typically Russian/Ukrainian women want to feel a little more "security" than $40K/year provides, and they generally prefer larger cities (visiting occasionally probably won't satisfy this preference). These things could present a challenge.

But again, as I said there are "all types", including girls who really just want a family, and including girls who would either prefer a smaller town, or would at least accept it. And if you find a good girl with a good heart who is really in it for all the right reasons, these should not be deal breakers.

One tip of advice I could offer here is to avoid pursuing women in larger cities like Kiev, Moscow, St. Petersburg, etc. Rarely would they be interested in small town life, and they are generally less likely to be as accepting of a lower income than a "country girl" would be.

About the cost of courtship... If you find a Russian/Ukrianian woman who speaks adequate English, and you were able to develop a good relationship from a distance by speaking frequently on Skype video calls, make one trip to meet in person AND propose (it DOES happen), then start the visa process, then you could probably spend as little as $6000-$7000 in total to bring her over.

This would include one trip there for you for $3000-$4000 (including flights/food/lodging/entertainment). Her one-way flight here will be around $1000-$1200. A handful of additional costs will be things like filing fees for her visa, and her medical exam (required for visa). Within 3 months after her arrival, assuming you get married as required by the fiancee visa, you will need to spend about $1100 on the filing fee for "Adjustment of Status" to allow her to remain past three months.

But that is a minimum if everything goes perfectly, you make one trip, propose, she accepts, etc.

As for your expectations of a Russian/Ukrainian woman... Again, "all types".

I have heard that most Russian women (remember, nearly everything that is true of Russian women is also true of women from Ukraine, Belarus, and other countries of the former Soviet Union) beyond 22-24 years old who are unmarried and childless will desperately want to have children, and are generally considered very family oriented.

Answer Part 2
by: Bob (Site Owner/Moderator)

Answer Part 2

I have also heard, as you have, that many Russian mothers are often "stern", I don't know if I'd say "unaffectionate" and/or "cold". I think of a story told by a Russian immigrant to the U.S. Her young son (maybe 5-7 years old) wanted to go to ice skating lessons. The lessons were expensive, and each session lasted 2 hours. So she told her son, "OK, but I want you to understand a few things. First, this is two hours long. If we go, you must complete the entire two hours with no complaining. Second, during your lesson you are probably going to fall a few times, and it is probably going to hurt. If I see any tears or hear any complaining or whining, we're leaving and not coming back. Do we have an agreement?"

Is that "unaffectionate"? I don't think so. To me it sounds GREAT... Like a mom who is doing her best to prepare her son to grow into a real man capable of handling the hardships of life like a man.

And about finding a younger Russian woman without children who is "settled down". Without searching my whole site for my comments that you mention, I believe it was more along the lines of Russian women (all women really) with a child tend to be more mature. That comment is more about the ideal age range for a man to seek/accept. Remember, most American men searching for a Russian woman are older than you and one question they have is about the acceptable age differences between a man and a woman. In America a 45 year old man sucessfully pursuing/dating/marrying a 25 year old woman is practically impossible due to the maturity level and cultural differences.

But in Russia a 25 year old woman with a child grows up much faster.

So yes, it is possible to find a "settled" younger Russian woman without children who wants children. As a matter of fact, your young age puts you at a bit of an advantage in some ways. If you look at Elena's Models you will see that there are MANY very young women who seek men closer to their age (like a 19-21 year old woman will rarely want a man older than 30).

But my comments about the maturity of women with children does stand... a Russian woman with a child is usually more mature than a Russian woman without a child. And, a 35 year old Russian woman is usually more mature than a 19 year old Russian woman. You get the drift. But NO ONE is going to be 100% in terms of being "settled down" and "knows what she wants in a relationship". It's mostly a process of finding someone "close enough" and growing together from there.

As for their "times around the block"... Again, "all types". There are very good Russian women who are saving themselves for their one man, and there are Russian women who "have been around the block" a few times. You just need to find a few, start having those Skype calls, and filter them down the best you can. There are no guarantees.

Answer Part 3
by: Bob (Site Owner/Moderator)

Part 3

But you have one major factor in your favor here... "Party Girls" need bigger cities and better funding than you are offering :-) If you are open and clear about your circumstances, whether in your online profile or at least in your very first letters, I think that in itself will weed out many of the bad types.

As for Russian womens' career-mindedness... Most Russian women without children will nearly always want to work outside the house. Ask my wife! It's maddening just sitting around every day. But, once they have a child most would prefer to be a stay-at-home mom.

It's possible that she would be able to generate some kind of income from home so that she can still be a stay-at-home mom, but this could be a challenge for you. Perhaps you can start trying to find another way to earn a little more?

You might notice in the footer of every page of this site a "Powered By: Site Build It!" link. CLICK on that. You could do that, and/or your future wife could do that. ANYONE can earn more, and this is one great way to do it. Contact me if you have questions about that, either through the "Contact Me" link, or preferably by posting another question so that others may read the answers.

As for their education compatibility... Their degree is usually as valid as ours except in some very specialty fields like medicine, law, and finance. But even here in America it's the same. Most places (except legal/medical/accounting/etc.) that require employees have a degree don't actually specify that the degree needs to be on some particular topic, or even from a particular country, only that one HAVE a degree. So to that extend their degrees are valid here. But a doctor or lawyer in Russia/Ukraine would need to practically start from scratch to become a doctor or lawyer here.

About agencies pushing Russian women to continue communication even after they are already in a committed relationship... Definitely! But NOT the ones I RECOMMEND!

And if you follow my specific advice about how to find a Russian wife, you'll bypass this risk completely. That advice is to avoid sites that have any kind of pay-per-letter communication method, and only use sites that have an unlimited communication for some fixed price per time period. Those are generally operations that have no direct, day-to-day contact with the Russian women.

Answer Part 4
by: Bob (Site Owner/Moderator)

Elena's Models is the best and you will have no risk of this problem with them. And Russian Cupid (formerly "RussianEuro.com") and Ukraine Date are good, but they are less tightly moderated so many scammers are available there. But if you just read my advice at Russian Cupid and Ukraine Date - Review you should be insulated from most of those Russian scammers on those sites.

And finally... Travel tips... Always drink bottled water. It's safe everywhere. Read my comments about medicines at Russia Travel Tips. Food there is sometimes tricky. If you're going to Ukraine, the main restaurants in Kiev are mostly safe, but watch out for undercooked chicken. In smaller towns, where you may need to go given some things I've already said above, it's more tricky. Just use your best judgment.

At the beginning of most of my trips I went to stores to buy bottled water (usually a 5-10 liter bottle for the whole trip) and a LOT of regular yogurt (not the low fat stuff). Those were my "staples". Then when I went to restaurants I was just very careful to order the things that "seemed safe". One thing they seem to agree on there is that beef is harder to mess up than fish or (especially) chicken. If you get chicken, make very sure that it's well-cooked... no pinkish or "juicy" chicken! Breads, oils, and cheeses tend to be pretty safe.

Anyway, if this prompts more questions or need for clarification, please feel free to post a reply and I'll do my best.

Hope this helps!

Bob

Ukrainian Women
by: Anonymous

Ukrainian women are the best! I am getting engaged next month. I've had my share of American women, they want too much, I just want love and can't seem to get that in the U.S.A.

Small town Ukrainian wives.
by: Anonymous

How are you doing Tyler?

I just stumbled on this site, I'm not sure if this post is still active or not but I wanted to give you my prospective.

From my experience most of the advise Bob gave you was correct.

But here is a little more to think about. I am married to a girl from Kiev. She was an executive assistant for a very large financial firm there (so she had a very good job even by American standards). She also grew up in Kiev. So she had only lived in large cities.

When she desided to marry me she knew she would be living in small American "villages", she did it anyway.

And she enjoys it. The key is to focus on those things that a small town offer. That is very important.

For example we have a lake close so we boat all summer.

It's also very important to get her involved in the community through volunteering or working. The important thing being not to let her sit at home alone all day.

It all takes time and you have to be patient.

Bottom line is its totally doable to live in a small town w a nice Ukrainian woman.

P.s. Many Ukrainian woman are great w children. I can give you a lot more advise if you email me. Arcellph@yahoo.com

[Bob's Comment:]

Sorry for being so slow to approve this... as I stated on another comment, the system that I use doesn't always notify me when there is a comment awaiting approval.

Ukraine vs other Former Soviet Union locations
by: Robert

Hello... I have been successful at learning the hard-way, and I give Bob a very big "Thumbs-up" on his advice. As I read his site, I could be writing each article myself!....

**** Robert... This is really more of a full post than a comment on another post. I'll move it for you. Please see Ukraine vs other Former Soviet Union locations for the post and my comments. ~ Bob ****

be careful
by: svein

Good advice but be careful of some women even at the good sites. A serious woman doesn't have 200 admirers and sit online with her webcam all night long chatting with hundreds of men. Odessa is famous for these women. So just watch yourself and be smart.

2 Good Agencies in Ukraine
by: Anonymous

I want to recommend 2 agencies I've been using in Kiev, Ukraine. Both American owned and both men are married to Ukrainian wives.
www.bridesmadeinukraine.com
www.kievconnections.com

What about AnastasiaDate.com , scam or not
by: Anonymous

Hi to anyone,
I went to AnastasiaDate.com and saw lots of beautiful women who all want to chat, but the cost to me $30 for credits. I blew $120.00 in 2 days, chatting. Sometimes the woman can't even write back, to me it's wasting time & my money, then I have to pay for more credits, kinda stinks.

Anyone's thoughts are welcome.

Eddie

[Bob's Answer:]

Read my review at AnastasiaWeb - Review. And frankly, if you've already blown that much, please read all my reviews at Russian Dating Sites Reviewed, or better yet, my whole site :)

Ukraine
by: Anonymous

I'm a Ukrainian woman and want to give you some insight view. The best place to look at is small towns in the western part of Ukraine. The girls there will not be a party type for sure. They will not have high expectations either. They are used to hard work. So it won't be a problem for her to work as a nurse for instance. They are family oriented and caring. You can easily find the one you are looking for there. However, the agencies usually do not represent such girls. It is easier to find one through a religious community or traveling to such places as a volunteer to teach English. By the way, the western Ukraine is catholic while the other parts are orthodox Christians. Good luck!

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