Avoiding Russian Women Scams

Nearly every question I receive centers around Russian women scams and goes something like this, "I've been writing this girl for __ months, we have not spoken by phone, but she wants to come see me in the U.S.... She seems real, but I'm not sure... Do you think it's a scam?"

If you are even asking this question, the chances are pretty good that you've stumbled upon one of a million Russian women scams. Many in such a situation become consumed with trying to figure out whether or not it's really a scam. Unfortunately once you've reached this point, the only thing to do is to move on. If you feel that you have a special case on your hands and would like to run it by me, please feel free to do so at Russian Women Advice.

But all this is a waste of time, energy, and money that can be almost completely avoided if you know a few things about Russian women scams and how to manage your online dating efforts.

Overall there are two general categories of defense against Russian women scams... (1) Avoid the scammers in the first place by searching on good sites, and (2) "Follow the money". Allow me to elaborate...

Avoid scams, or at least detect them quickly!

The best protection from Russian women scams is simply to avoid them altogether (obviously), or at least learn how to spot them in their first message to you (or even earlier). The best way to do that is simply to use the RIGHT SITES.

As I mention quite a few times elsewhere on this site, Elena's Models is the most scam-resistant site in the business. If you shop there you will almost never need to wonder whether the girl you are writing is real or not. And if you suspect foul play, you can write customer service and they WILL investigate promptly.

Other sites may have more women or hotter women, but with Elena's Models the women are REAL.

Russian Cupid (formerly "RussianEuro.com") and Ukraine Date are also excellent sites with many attractive women, but to use them you will need to learn a few more things about Russian women scams. I offer some great tips for easily filtering out the scammers at Russian Cupid and Ukraine Date - Review and at Email Scams.

In summary... better to just shop where you are less likely to find Russian women scams than to spend all your time and emotional/mental effort trying to figure out whether the girl you are writing is real. Or, as the old saying goes, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" (for you metric system folks, maybe more like "A gram of prevention is worth a kilogram of cure").

Follow the Money

But once you are already in touch with a Russian woman and concluded she is probably not a scammer, or if you aren't so sure she's a scammer but you are willing to take the chance, the next step in avoiding Russian women scams is to simply follow the money.

Remember, Russian women scams are all about tricking you out of your money under completely fraudulent premises. In other words, they get you to wire them money to travel to see you, or wire them money to arrange your apartment for your visit to their city, or spend money while there on a translator that isn't really needed, taking you to expensive restaurants where they receive a kickback, etc., etc.

As long as you NEVER send anyone money, and as long as you only spend money on services that YOU choose, the risk of a real scam drops to near zero.

If you are writing to a Russian woman and decide you want to meet, you plan the meeting in a way that completely keeps cash out of her hands. In other words, you obviously need to spend a fair amount of money to travel to meet her, and for a hotel or apartment, and for dates. But it is important to do this in a way that the only thing she takes from it is a good time, a good meal, etc., but NO cold hard cash in her pocket. It's easier and much more natural than you might think. How, you ask? Easy...

Meet in her city

At least your first meeting MUST BE IN HER CITY, no matter how hard a trip it is for you. This completely removes the matter of you needing to send her money to cover travel expenses... one of the mainstays of Russian women scams. And it even removes another negative possibility that falls a little short of an all-out scam: The woman getting exotic vacations on someone else's dime.

A "pure" scam would be where you send her money to arrange her own travel and never see her or the money again. But the other option isn't that much better if you're serious... If you offer to fly a Russian woman to an exotic vacation location (they like Dominican Republic, for example), you control the money, so you know she isn't just banking it. You pay for her flights and hotel, but don't send any cash. She shows up, you spend a wonderful vacation together, but after the vacation she seems to lose interest...

But both these possibilities are completely stripped away when you just visit her city AND make all your own arrangements. Even though a trip to her city may be a lot more complicated for you, and maybe a lot less fun than hanging out in a tropical beach paradise, you can have a much greater peace of mind that she's the real deal.

And frankly, any sincere Russian woman would prefer this since she gets to remain in the safety and security of her own environment.

Arrange your own accommodations

A favorite in the Russian women scams handbook is the good old trick, "OK, you can visit me in my city... Just send me $1000 USD so that I can arrange your apartment".

This is easy to avoid... When planning your visit to her city, you arrange all necessary accommodations on your own. You may feel a little lost in this, but it isn't as difficult as you may think. First, remember that Russian/Ukrainian cities are quite different from most American cities. Nearly all of them have a "city center" where everything happens. That's where you'll want to rent an apartment or a hotel. And chances are pretty darned good that everything you'll need to do will be within walking distance.

Use your own translator

Many Russian women scams involve a Russian woman insisting that you use her translator, but in reality the translator and your date are in business together.

If your girl doesn't speak English and requires a translator, YOU find your own translator/guide. NEVER should you agree to use "her" translator... If she suggests her own translator, and especially if it's real important to her that you use her translator, it's probably because she's in business with the translator and derives a nice income from it.

You choose the date activities/locations (mostly)

Other Russian women scams involve the Russian woman having kickback arrangements with businesses. You can circumvent this scam by simply being the one who choosed the date activities and locations. But this is a little tricky. Remember, you ARE courting her, so you can't just veto everything she suggests.

But you can suggest things you want to do... "I heard that the ___ restaurant was nice... let's try that...", or "I saw this very interesting cafe... Let's try it..."

But you can't really force your preferences on her, and you can't veto all her suggestions. Whether she's sincere or not this will blow up on you.

But you can be on the watch for suspicious things. I remember once a girl scheduled a photo session "date" for us. For 4 hours a professional photographer took pictures of us together and individually with the pretense that it was because we had a special relationship and the photos would be good for memories, etc. But 90% of the pictures were of her alone. Naturally I was suspicious, but went through with it anyway. Two months later her photos from that session ended up on her online profile! Oh well, live and learn!

I would also be on the lookout for women who suggest expensive restaurants and order the more expensive items at those restaurants. She might be in cahoots with the restaurant, or she just might be a selfish princess taking advantage of you. Either way it's a red flag.

Get help from an agency or a local guide

Most of those suggestions above for avoiding Russian women scams could be very difficult for you to implement if you have no experience in Russia/Ukraine, but nearly every city where you would be meeting your Russian woman will have "marriage agencies" and personal guides who can help you with any accommodations you might need. They are used to dealing with foreigners visiting their city for dating purposes and have arrangements with apartment rentals, translators, guides, taxis, etc.

You must be very careful about this as many of these places are fairly crooked, but good ones do exist. The Angelika Network is a network of local marriage agencies that are generally honest. There are exceptions, but most of the exceptions would not even apply in a case where you were only using their accommodation services and not their introduction services.

Elsewhere on this site I have a full Angelika Network Review.

There are agencies and guides like this in every city. If you would like help locating one, or determining if one is honest, visit Russian Women Advice where I can offer customized input for your situation.

Another thing to keep in mind about using a marriage agency to help with your accommodations is that your woman may suspect that you plan to meet other women through that agency. All I can recommend is to assure her that you are only using that agency for their apartment and other services to help your trip be smooth and comfortable.

Presenting these plans to your woman

Besides the problem I just mentioned regarding using the services of an agency or guide is simply the challenge of presenting all these plans to your Russian woman. In other words, what do you tell her? If you have developed a REAL relationship with a Russian woman and she attempts to participate in your trip planning, if you then insist on taking care of all the arrangements yourself, or worse, with the help of a MARRIAGE AGENCY or personal guide, it could backfire in a big way!

If you REALLY feel like you know her and trust her, then maybe you can accept a little of her help in arranging your accommodations without too much concern for Russian women scams. Just remember though, if this help involves either sending cash in advance or using her translator, you're probably going to be scammed.

But if you don't really know her that well and want to remove any risk of Russian women scams by making your own arrangements, it shouldn't be too much trouble to just be able to say, "On the internet I see many hotels and apartments near the city center that will be comfortable for me... I'll just reserve one of those...I don't want to bother you with all those details..." If she argues with you about such plans, you should worry.

Most guys who write me for advice seem to feel that they CAN trust their women, but when they describe their situation, to me their trust seems misplaced. Allow me to give an example from my own experience where I felt that I could REALLY trust the girl.

I met "Irina" (not her real name) on Russian Cupid when I sent her a notice of interest and she replied positively. In her very first message to me she said "Hello! I'd really like to get know better and closer :) The best way would be for us to talk on skype WITH A CAMERA. Also I would like to see many more of your pictures as I will be sending you many of mine... Lets try to chat on Skype as soon as possible :)"

With all my experience with Russian scammers I have NEVER had one INSIST on speaking via Skype WITH A WEBCAM or insist that I be ready to send MANY pictures of myself. "Irina" was off to a good start for building trust.

Then over the next 3 months we spent 70 total hours face-to-face on Skype video calls during which I never had one inkling of evidence that she was less than 100% real and sincere. During our Skype video calls we exchanged hundreds of pictures and I was able to meet her mom, son, and several of her friends... LIVE, on webcam video chats.

So when it came time to start planning a trip, I would have felt comfortable actually sending "Irina" cash to arrange an apartment for me, but she never asked for this. She did offer to shop around for me, but as our visit grew nearer, she just invited me to stay at her apartment (free). We ate out at restaurants maybe twice the whole week I was there. Every other meal was home cooked.

If your situation sounds a lot like this... that you spent hundreds of hours on face-to-face Skype video calls, met her family members, and observed many other fragments of evidence that suggest that your Russian woman is real and sincere, and through all this contact you haven't seen any reason for suspicion, then you can probably be less cautious without much risk. Otherwise, just make your own arrangements.

Again, if you're not sure and would like to run your situation by me personally, I offer several options at Russian Women Advice.