Am i being lied to?
by Ali
(Florida)
Hi. I have known my friend Sergey for nearly 3 years now. We first met through a social site and we became friends. I was dating someone at the time, so Serge and I kept it friendly. I later grew feelings for Serge and was already having a break up relationship.
Now I am single and Serge has pretty much stayed with me all this time. Now we are calling ourselves dating and our feelings grew super strong. He NEVER asks me for money, but once I sent him a letter (which he never received it - is there a way to get a letter to him this time?)
Anyway, yes we do talk of being together in the future, etc etc. But he says he will travel to me (he does not want me to go to him as he says it's more difficult for me to travel to him, he would travel to me).
He also has on his Facebook that he was attending college and it says from 2012-2016. Yes he says he still attends it, but everyday he gets up for work and doesn't mention his studies. He just tells me he can miss some classes......But, everyday, he doesn't mention classes. He says he will visit me when his school is over in one year.
What do you think., oh also, he says he loves me and wants me to stay in his life, but I have not once seen any of his friends , or his family . BTW, I am 32 and he is 22. He is very mature and lives with his mom and father. He is not a pervert and never sends nude photos (except once). He seems more mature and educated and calm.
Bob's Answer:
Although I "specialize" more in how the Russian/Ukrainian WOMEN scams work, there's probably enough overlap for me to take a stab at this.
I'm a little confused by some of these details though... you have "known" Sergey, he stayed with you all this time, etc. This is all long-distance? I'll proceed with the assumption that it is.
Have you spoken on Skype? Phone? If not, DO. You'll get a lot more feel for what's really happening. And as I say throughout my answers to these kinds of questions, don't accept any excuses. If he says he doesn't have a phone, it's 100% sure he's lying. If he says international calls are too expensive, he's lying (almost all Russian cell phones work on a pre-paid basis and all incoming calls are FREE, even international). If he says he doesn't have internet at home or a web cam, he's probably lying (with the phone it's definite).
It's not unusual for postal letters to fail to reach their recipient. And if they succeed it takes up to 3 weeks.
The part about him traveling to see you is the most concerning part, and even though he hasn't started on that end game yet, that's usually a scam. It's not easy for a young, single Russian to receive a tourist visa to the U.S. It's not impossible, but most of the time it's going to end with "I have a friend at the travel agency who can get me a visa, and I'll book my flight to visit you in the middle of January..."
There may be a part there where he'll say he has most of the money for airfare, but just needs $350 more in cash to cover the whole thing. Or maybe not. But if not, you're still not safe. On the day of his alleged flight he'll tell you there was some last-second problem and he needs cash.
While it's true that travel to Russia is a little difficult for U.S. citizens, if you and he are all that "together" I think he'd want to see you.
The inconsistency about work/school is fishy, but not as much as the other things I've mentioned.
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