Am I being scammed or falling in love

by Joe

Hi my name is Joe. I'm very confused and unclear whether I am being hustled. I've been talking to Anna, who is 30 years old. She is beautiful and nice, I'm 51 and I look around 40. I consider myself to be handsome and I am financially secure. She has captured my heart and I believe that I'm falling in love with her. She is getting a loan from her parents to meet me, she hasn't asked me for any money. What advice can you give me?

Bob's Answer:

You are being hustled. Look through the other posts here and you'll see your exact scenario repeated over and over.

First, she probably doesn't really have a visa to just come here. It's not that easy. Second, this whole loan from parents... at the last second there is going to be some problem with that loan... she was on her way to the airport and stopped by parents to pick up money, but it turns out that they couldn't get it because the bank was closed, or there was some problem with the account. But, if you would wire her the money to pay the balance for her ticket at the airport she will surely be able to pay you back by the time she arrives (because by then her parents will have resolved the bank problems, etc.).

It can vary a little from that, but I assure you she's not going to be showing up.

You didn't say how you met... What site? Who contacted who first? Have you spoken to her on Skype? Do you have her cell phone number? Have you spoken to her by phone? You can add the answers to those questions by adding a comment to this post if you want, but the answers to those questions would only move my assurance that this is a scam up or down by 0.1% (from 99.9%).

DON'T CHALLENGE HER, like asking for a scanned copy of her passport or visa, and don't ask her to send you a picture holding up a sign with your name on it, or anything like that.

At this point you have 2-3 choices...

1) Just quit writing her. This is your best move. If you're really interested in meeting Russian/Ukrainian women, read my whole site, and pick one of the dating sites I recommend (click "Reviews" in left menu).

2) Play along until you see I'm right about the last-minute cash crisis. Then you'll know. Oh, if you do wire her any money in such a scenario, let me know first so I can create a fake scenario and get you to wire the money to me instead :)

3) If you REALLY can't let go, just tell her you would really prefer to meet her in her city first, and plan a trip. All the details on how to pull that off can be found in many other questions/answers so I don't want to repeat them here.

Here, read this one: Is She For Real?

And this: Avoiding Russian Women Scams

Comments for Am I being scammed or falling in love

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Dating scam or love?
by: Joe

I want to thank you for your advice. Anna contacted me initially on my match site. I like many others want to believe that its possible to find a significant other in your life. Unfortunately though it appears that maybe 1 percent of the people who you meet online are truly serious and honest. I'm quite an optimist and I believe in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt unless you find out otherwise. I will ride out and see what does materialize at the end. I can only hope to find an honest woman online whose intentions are to find a real relationship with someone.

Dating scam or love?
by: Joe

Hi, I wanted to keep you posted on my progress with Anna. I've been emailing her every day now for about a month now and she obviously tells me every day that she loves me. I'm not naive or stupid I've been married for 18 years, divorced for 3. She has been approved for a loan and she told me that it will take only 2 weeks for her to acquire the necessary documents for her trip to see me. Can you please give me your insight as far as what may come next? Thanks I'm just totally confused right now.

by: Bob (Site Owner)

You're welcome. It's good to be an optimist not overly paranoid, but when dealing with Russian/Ukrainian women online you REALLY need to have your radar on high alert.

As I say even on the home page here, these scams are pretty easy to recognize and avoid with just a little information.

Reply #2
by: Bob (Site Owner)

[Sorry, the system that I use to publish and host this site allows me to specify that I want comments in chronological order, but that feature doesn't always seem to work... This is in answer to the comment that starts with "Hi, I wanted to keep you posted"]

Hi Joe, I realize from your last comment that you want to be optimistic and give her the benefit of the doubt. I very much sympathize with this way of viewing things, but in this case you're dealing with something I've seen a thousand times (not just my own experiences). There is no "doubt" here to give the benefit of. Your initial instinct that lead you to seek out a site like this that discusses Russian dating scams was spot on.

Real, sincere Russian women don't:

1) Write every day for a month
2) Fall in love via email
3) Contact men on
4) Get visas to visit the U.S. (well, they do, but not often)

All Russian/Ukrainian women:

1) Have cell phones that allow unlimited INCOMING calls FREE, even from international calls.
2) Have high-speed internet and computers with webcam, mic, and speakers.

Since it seems that you really aren't ready to just quit writing, ask for her cell phone number so you can speak, or her Skype name so you can speak on Skype... If she says she doesn't have either, she's definitely lying.

And if you do get to speak to her live, tell her you want to visit her in Russia. Why not?

Is she real or just a scam
by: Joe

Hi Bob, I want to thank you for your experience and insight concerning Russian scammers. Well, Anna was approved for her loan to make the trip to visit me. Anna told me that she went to the travel agency and made arrangements to receive her documents. Sounds pretty good so far, but I'm still having many doubts like you commented on. Anna told me that she doesn't have a phone or internet service. She can't Skype and we have never seen one another or talked. She sends me many pics of herself and her family. Im riding this out only because she hasn't asked me for money yet. Im quite sure that you are right, although I do believe that anything in life is truly possible.

Reply to "Is she real or just a scam"
by: Bob (Site Owner)

I also believe anything is possible... except this :(

I'm on record with my predictions and suggestions :)

Joe, what is the latest?
by: Dale

Joe , give us the update. What happened? You know that no woman on earth is going to take an overseas trip to met someone she has never seen, or talked to. and take out a loan to do it? You know this , right?

Unless she has mental problems she is not going to take the chance and go into debt to do it.

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