Avoiding Bad Russian Women
If you are looking for a life-long partner from Russia you must learn to recognize the bad Russian women who, for one reason or another, are not very likely to make for a successful long term relationship.
I'm NOT talking here about Russian scammers. Russian scammers aren't usually looking for a real relationship at all, just some kind of way to derive income through deception (Click here to read all about Russian Dating Scams
). But the bad Russian women I am talking about can be equally disastrous, and some MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE in the long run.
There are several kinds of bad Russian women to watch out for... (these categories definitely have some overlap)
The Party Girls
"Party Girls" are usually young (mostly under 25) and have no children. As they get a little older their values may change, but currently they are interested in hanging out in bars, clubs, discos, dancing, etc. Just because a girl talks about liking any or all of these things doesn't necessarily mean that she's a party girl, and is looking to continue as a party girl after she meets someone, BUT you should definitely be attentive to signals about this.
The Non-Serious and/or Immature
Some Russian women you will see on the Russian dating sites are simply not very serious about their pursuit of a partner, or they are just not mature enough to start a healthy relationship (or both). They've given little or no thought to the process, but someone they know told them about such and such a site where they can meet foreign men, and it sounded fun.
They might actually correspond, and they might actually meet, and they may even agree to marry you if it goes that far, but they still just don't take it seriously enough to have a good chance of success.
They aren't necessarily bad Russian women, they're just not ready yet.
The Professional Daters
Another category of bad Russian women you will want to avoid are the "professional daters". I should clarify... "professional daters" could be a good term for some kinds of scammers... women who engage in a relationship with you with only the intent of gaining a profit from it. That's not what I mean here.
I mean Russian women who have been on the Russian dating sites forever because they are either just too picky or too attached to their current single life to really make the jump into a real relationship. They may correspond with you, but chances are good it won't go anywhere.
The Gold Diggers
Probably the worst of the bad Russian women are the "gold diggers".
In their profiles they often mention money or talk about wanting a man who is "Well financially secured", "well to do", and/or "successful". While many Russian and Ukrainian women are beautiful, sweet, smart, grounded, and unselfish, there are others who are nothing short of pure gold-diggers or women who think all Americans live the lives of the rich and famous and expect that you can and will buy them anything they want.
There are differing degrees of "guilt" on this matter. Some Russian women simply have a misguided view of life in America or other Western countries. They've watched American TV and movies and know that their standard of living does not stand up to what they see in American TV and movies.
And even if they are told that these entertainment media do not reflect everyday reality, deep in their hearts they still think it does... "Yeah, it may not be EXACTLY like in the movies, but it's REAL GOOD..." is their feeling.
Their misguided views extend further than just that, however. If you are a regular worker in corporate America earning, let's say $70,000/year, they think that's a LOT. And when you say you cannot travel to their country very often, or that you cannot afford long, frequent vacations, you may as well be speaking Swahili.
And if you get to the point where you are actually in an exclusive relationship with a Russian woman and you fail to travel to visit her frequently or give her very nice gifts (including jewelry), she will feel that you are stingy and that you do not value her very much.
All this stems from several cultural differences between Russia and the West. Someone in America earning $70,000/year probably has only 2-4 weeks of vacation time per year, probably pays for rent or house note, electricity, gas, water, health insurance, car insurance, gas for car, car maintenance and repair, house maintenance and repair (if they they own a house), AND ON AND ON AND ON... PLUS INCOME TAX!!!
Not every Russian woman has the same experience, but it is not at all uncommon for a Russian woman to either live with her parents (for free) or own her own apartment. Most do not have cars, so they don't have to pay for a car, gas, insurance, mainenance, and/or repair. Most do not have health insurance, and most have access to free government medical care (most claim it sucks, but it is free). Most individuals don't pay any income tax. So someone in Russia who earns $30,000/year probably has more left over than someone in America who earns more than twice that amount!
So you can begin to see the root of some of the misunderstanding... They figure if you earn $70,000/year, after all your expenses you should have at least $50,000/year left over such that you can easily travel to Russia every other month and have enough left over to buy her some very nice gifts!
Now simple misunderstandings like this don't make them bad Russian women, but these misunderstandings run pretty deep and are not easy to correct by just explaining things, so you should be cautious when detecting such perspectives in the women you contact.
But some Russian women take being misguided about this one step further... They aren't JUST misguided, but they are also greedy, materialistic, and demanding, and are much more accurately described as bad Russian women that you should avoid. In their profiles and correspondence you read much more than just implicit misunderstandings.
There they will talk about wanting a man who can afford anything, or who can provide them with a life of luxury, or is is willing to spend a lot of money on his woman, etc. It can sound so over-the-top that it is actually entertaining!
It's like in the old movies where the "bad guys" were very easily identified by their black masks. In modern America, people with greedy and materialistic motives know how to HIDE these things better than the bad Russian women do!
SUCH a loaded subject definitely needs a little balance in order to be fair. There are a few things you need to consider in deciding whether any given Russian woman you may see on the Russian dating sites is one of the bad Russian women you should avoid.
Any mention of money or financial security does not necessarily mean that a Russian woman is a gold digger. Sometimes it simply means she wants a man who can provide for the family so that she will be able to take care of the children without needing a job to make ends meet. You can probably tell how she means it by just looking at her picture!
Because so many Westerners already start off thinking of Russian women as gold diggers, my discussion here might make it seem rampant. IT IS NOT. If you go to Russian-Ukrainian-Women.com and read 100 profiles, you probably won't find these clear gold digger indications in more than three of them.
Some men, especially American men, have unknowingly been infected by their feminist culture that insists that not only are men and women equal in VALUE, but that they share identical ROLES. This belief is not nearly as widely held in Russia. In Russia more people hold the more traditional view that man's role is that of the primary PROVIDER for the family.
This more traditional belief does NOT make one a gold digger, although it would be easy for many American men to read some of the things Russian women say and come to that conclusion.