Dating Russian Women

Dating Russian women is a little different than dating women in many other parts of the world. So when you succeed in finding and meeting a Russian woman who seems like "the one", it will be helpful to be aware of a few ways in which courtship differs between Russia and the west. Note: When I say "dating" in this context, I mean that phase where you and your lady are "seeing" each other exclusively and headed toward probable marriage. However, that does not mean you should just ignore everything I say here on dates before you are exclusive.

On thing you must keep in mind when dating Russian women is that they are "romantic". You will often read things in their online profiles that sound a little "sappy" to us, but it is how they really view relationships. They want to feel special, and they want to hear and see things from you that show them that they are special to you.

Although it really is a separate subject, the same principle is at play while you are meeting Russian women. This is why most guys who travel to Russia to meet multiple women on a trip come back empty-handed. Women, and especially Russian women, are hard-wired to not be very understanding or forgiving of things like this.

Compliments go a long way toward meeting Russian women's need for romance, as do gestures like opening doors, pulling out their chair for them, hand-holding, and anything generally considered "gentlemanly", etc. I remember once at dinner my date needed to excuse herself for a moment. As she got up, I also stood momentarily as she left, and again when she returned. She explained how gestures like that just make her heart skip a beat!

Another important thing in dating Russian women are GIFTS. For the most part if you live in a large U.S. city, chances are good you might never think to buy your girl's mom a gift, if she even lives in the same town at all. But in Russia you lose BIG points if you show up without gifts for your girl, her child if she has one, and her mom if she is in the same city.

None of these gifts have to be elaborate or expensive, but you must bring something. For your girl, you could bring a small jewelry item, perfume, or flowers, etc. For moms things like specialty tea or chocolates are good. And for children, whatever is appropriate for age and gender.

For a trip you can buy these things at home and bring them with you. But if you are in that dating phase you can send gifts between visits.

Another thing you CANNOT forget when dating Russian women is "International Women's Day". In Russia/Ukraine they observe March 8th, International Women's Day, like a combination of Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, and every woman's birthday. If you forget Women's Day, you LOSE BIG POINTS. Make sure to at least send her an eGreeting, if not a gift or flowers. As I mentioned on another page (Russian Dating Scam: Letters and Gifts) you need to be careful about using agencies to send letters and gifts to Russian women, but there are other independent services through which you can send gifts at a reasonable price. One of the best is Service Network Flamingo. They offer competitive prices and reliable services. And since they are independent of any agency there really is no way for them to run the typical letter/gift scam.

Another matter of etiquette involved in dating Russian women is talking about money. This is a tricky one.

On the one hand, in the "pre-dating" process (i.e. what you say in your online profile and first few communications with a Russian woman), it is highly advisable to be up-front regarding your income and standard of living, at least in general terms. If you are "very well-to-do", feel free to say so... it'll get you points (if perhaps for the wrong reasons). If you earn an average income, say so, and describe what that means... "I own a 3 bedroom home in the suburbs of Los Angeles, have a 5 year old Nissan Maxima, and can usually afford 2-3 weeks of vacation per year...."

And during your pre-visit communication you should listen for indicators that she has unrealistic expectations and either correct her expectations or dump her.

You get the drift... when you are first getting to know each other, it is important to give her an accurate picture of who you are, including income/wealth level, and make sure that you are both on the same page in that regard.

BUT, while "dating" Russian women, you don't bring it up. You NEVER say something is "too expensive". If something IS too expensive, you must find a another way of dealing with it.