For real, a scam or mind my business?
Since you didn't supply a name I just picked "Maria" for reference
I will try to be brief. I'm an American woman who has casually hooked up with an American man, let's call him Sam. Sam recently met Yvonne, a Russian woman, who came to visit Los Angeles. I'm not sure of the nature of this visit but they did appear to hang out quite a bit before her return to Russia.
He stopped texting me when she was here but did send me pics of them together, calling her his wife.
After she returned to Russia our casual relationship resumed. He was not aware that I knew who she was until I brought it up. A brief Twitter search revealed a few cute messages between two and her plans to move to California. He showed me more pics of the two of them and some Russian bills she had given him. My guess is she plans to come back to be with him but she tends to be a bit vague and her life in Russia actually seems good.
She appears to have a good career, her own apartment, friends and family, all in her small town. Sam, on the other hand, is a bipolar alcoholic living in the storage room off of his parents garage.
He works but his job is not stable and I'm not sure how much he makes. He has multiple DUIs, traffic violations, police reports, bad credit, Etc. Why on Earth would she choose this life over her current situation?
Granted, Sam is a compulsive liar and her English is probably limited, but I wonder if she could still be a con or is this just my jealousy talking? Are there Russian women that would go so far as to meet a man just to con him out of cash? Is there something else she could be seeking?
For the time being, I felt it best to stop seeing Sam. Apart from his abusive behavior I don't like feeling like he's cheating on her with me although it's unclear whether they are dating or not. She also seems a bit strange posting racy pics and videos online for strange men to look at.
I'm not sure how she would react if she found out about me.
While there is a bit of jealousy, my conscience has also kicked in. I've considered reaching out to her to warn her but my safety could also be at risk. It's also really none of my business and, chances are, if she has her heart set on coming to California there is probably little I can say or do to stop her.
It's also really none of my business and, chances are, if she has her heart set on coming to California there is probably little I can say or do to stop her.
So what do you think? Is she a con? Could she possibly just be trying to get some extra cash? Should I even care what happens to her? I have a hard time believing that she is unintelligent, as she is a college-educated woman, but she's also young, probably in her early twenties. Any thoughts?
This is pretty far from my usual scam inquiries because she was ACTUALLY IN THE U.S. Many scams involve a Russian woman claiming she can get a visa to visit the U.S. but needs some financial help to pay for it, or to pay for a portion of the airfare. So the typical money scam doesn't seem that likely here.
Besides, you say she does well enough on her own, AND he doesn't do so well.
There is some possibility that she could be using him as a way to gain legal U.S. residence through marriage. It happens. No matter how good her life is - and I would guess it isn't as good as it sounds, especially if she's in her early 20s - it would be better in the U.S. Residency and citizenship through marriage would be one of the fastest, easiest, and surest ways to accomplish that.
OR she could just be a women without a great deal of good judgment. And as you speculate, surely a slight language barrier helps him hide is flaws a bit. And she may just be sucked in by some kind of "charm". It happens. Women sometimes go for the "bad boys" against their better judgment.
But a giant question pops into my head as I read this: If Sam is THAT BAD why do YOU go out with him?! Maybe she likes him for the same reason.
Specific answers... Right, you can't really stop her from coming if she wants. And I would guess that trying to warn her about him would not have any effect.
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