I believe my Ukrainian fiancee is true, but need some advice
I have been very seriously dating a Ukrainian woman for 16 months and we are set to meet in three short weeks. All has gone so beautifully for us and I have chatted with her online on the site where we met and on cam quite a few times. I see her as very trustworthy and feel in my heart she is everything her profile said.
She has asked me for nothing and is very adamant about paying for everything for us, the visa (CR-1 spousal), her tickets, the hotel she will stay in, all the dates we will go on, etc. I am very happy at this and tried to offer to pay at least half and she flatly refuses. I wanted to go to Ukraine to meet her and she said after we are married and find "our" home together then we can go visit her family and stay with them for a few months.
She wanted to come to meet me here in the U.S. and prospect the possibilities of opening her business here. She is wanting it to be our business together but will not let me pay to start it and wants this as a wedding gift for us. She also asked me to give her the courses I am taking to become a writer of books and wants to pay for my classes in full.
It seems to good to be true to some people and I was a bit skeptical at first myself. Now I feel so very different. She is from a well to do family and it is the way she was raised, to support her husband and give him the best she has to give. I chose to remain on the site we met and I chose to pay for the credits to chat with her so she is not forcing me to do this and said numerous times that we can write emails and chat a bit less to save me money!
So my question is am I lucky to find a needle in the haystack or is this truly to good to be true? She has never asked me for a thing and is more likely to ask me to spend less money if it means being happy for us. She is paying for our wedding and she is buying the wedding rings even after I told her I was happy to do so. I am feeling I found a sweet angel in my fiancee and have never been so loved in my life. Tell me what you think please!
Wow, that is an interesting case, but I can see how the "too good to be true" question might come to mind.
I'll start with the bright side of my thinking here... You don't have anything to lose by just going along! If she ends up showing up, paying for everything, including SUPPORTING YOU in your pursuits, then you just may be the lottery winner of the day. It can happen, and you have nothing to lose by believing in it until the trap snaps (if that is the outcome).
But this DOES seem too good to be true, at least given the picture developing in my mind based on the information included in your post (more information could tilt my opinion one way or another).
I see several specific "bugs" in this story that create suspicion a bit beyond just the "too good to be true" problem. And they may just be your reporting of the story, but here goes:
First, it seems VERY strange that she does not want you to visit her in her country and meet her family first. Possible, but strange. VERY STRANGE! Why wouldn't she want you to visit her in her country and meet her parents, family, and friends? Actually, it's even sillier... why wouldn't she want you to visit her in her country to MEET HER? Maybe there are innocent answers, but short of those answers this is weird.
Second, she's too "serious" given that you haven't even yet met in person. She's planning future things like finding your "home" together, planning wedding things, planning business, all before your first face-to-face (specifically 3D face-to-face).
Third, this whole insistence on her part that she pay for EVERYTHING, even rings, wedding, business, your further education, etc., even when you offer to contribute... Is she Bill Gates' daughter?
Fourth, what are the visa arrangements? She CAN'T visit you here first unless she already has a tourist visa. And this "CR-1" - is that your report or hers? The spousal visa is the K-3, and for THAT visa you need to be married already. The K-1 (Fiancee) visa allows your fiancee to enter the country and stay for up to three months before marrying you or returning home, but that visa requires that you have met IN PERSON (3D :), can prove it with tons of pictures and receipts, and are already planning to marry. So if she doesn't have a tourist visa already, I would be much more suspicious.
Question: Why not take her up on the free means of communication (Skype, direct email)? I don't get that.
In every case I have experienced or heard about where there was all this "she hasn't asked for anything" and "she agreed to pay for her trip" kind of talk, it ends up that at the last minute -- the week, day, or even hours before her flight -- she encounters some insurmountable cash flow crisis and needs an immediate emergency cash transfer... "John, I can't believe this happened, but because of some political thing related to the Ukraine/Russia conflict the bank has seized my family's funds and I can't pay for my airplane ticket... My family's lawyers say that it will be solved soon, but I need to pay for the ticket now... can you wire me the money and I'll pay you back as soon as this all gets worked out?..."
Sadly my bet is on something like that happening. Hopefully I'm wrong. Feel free to add a comment to this post (click "Add Comment") with any more information if you wish and I'll post answers below it.