I just don't know if this is a scam

by James

Hello my name is James and I am a single 28yr old Aussie and I am worried :( For a while now I have been emailing this Russian chick and recently she asked for me to send $1400 for her to get plane tickets. She said she has paid for her visa and passport. I have not sent the money yet she says that she loves me and that she is real.

I think she is perfect for me she and she has me hooked. I only get an email a day, but we have talked a few times. I think that she is the real deal with every passing email. For a while there she would send me pics and she says that well she wants to be with me forever. I would rate myself looks wise 7/10 and her 7/10 too. I am not judgmental and I have feelings for her big time. I really need to know what to do... am I being taken for a scam? I ask because lately I have been thinking about her a lot and the thing that worries me most is that when I think of something good or something that could happen it always always falls through for the worst. I am a hard working true Aussie and for any sheila out there I am a real score. I am genuine honest and loyal and pretty good looking, but at the moment I am confused on what to do. Should I send this money to her? The thing that gets me is I met this Nigerian chick that was a scam and if this Russian chick is a scammer, she must be a professional because she is doing a good job with her words and to me she seems real. Please, I need help. Thank you.

Bob's Answer:

Hi James, thanks for writing.

Funny, I had two posts here within a few hours with very similar questions (yours being one of them). Read the other one HERE.

Yours sounds a little different in that you sound a little more invested and possibly convinced. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm 99% sure she is a scammer (I'm actually 100% sure, I'm just cushioning the blow :-).

Almost my entire opinion is based on the fact that she's asking for money in exactly the context scammers do ("I'm in love with you, I want you, and I want to see you so badly my dear, but I can't afford airfare..."). And the recent trend among these scammers to build trust and not arouse suspicion is to offer to pay for the trip themselves, or at least part of the trip expense (like visa/passport).

When they do offer to pay the entire cost of the trip and insist that they don't want you to have to pay for any part of it, always at the very last minute some cash-flow disaster befalls them and they need money fast (they're stranded at the airport and need $1500 to pay the balance of the airfare or they won't be able to come... and they have $1500 in the bank, but the bank was unexpectedly closed and they will be able to repay later, blah blah blah...)

But here's another thing... Russian/Ukrainian women DON'T fall in love and eagerly desire to spend the rest of their life with a man they've never met.

My advice:

1) Cut off contact and start searching for someone on a site that screens applicants! See my Reviews of Russian dating sites.

2) READ MY WHOLE SITE. Start with the sections on "Scams" (left navigation bar).

But if you are REALLY convinced, and you just can't let this one go, forget about this plan for her to come visit you. Just plan instead to visit her in her city. If on the 0.001% chance she is "real" and is sincere, she would have absolutely no problem with that.

As a matter of fact, authentic, sincere Russian/Ukrainian women serious about their search for a foreign husband DEMAND that the first meeting be in their country. And if you do make this trip, do it in a way that does not put a single dollar in her hands. Read Avoiding Russian Women Scams for advice on how you can accomplish this.

But if you send her money for airfare you'll never see that money - OR HER - again. Well, if she thinks she can dupe you into sending MORE money you may hear from her again, but that's as far as it will go.

There's hope out there... just shop at the right sites!

Anyway, I hope that helps!

Good luck.

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