Is a Slovakian lady who wants expensive presents genuine ?
by Kevin
(United Kingdom)
Hi. I am 61 years old, and have been divorced for 2.5 years. After discovering that English ladies that I was meeting do not appear to want to commit to a relationship, I decided that I would try to find an Eastern European wife. I made the mistake of first joining a PPL site, and met a Ukrainian lady who I thought was the love of my life. After spending 3 separate weekends with her in her city, and being taken on very expensive shopping trips on each occasion, but getting no more than a peck on the cheek in terms of a proper relationship, I saw the light and stopped seeing this lady.
I was beginning to despair of finding somebody, but I then came across your site, which answered a lot of questions, and I joined the site Russian Ukrainian Women, where the ladies certainly do seem to be genuine. I met someone on this site, but unfortunately there were problems with obtaining a Visa for this lady to settle in the UK, so I joined a matchmaker site that only deals with Czech or Slovakian ladies - this has the advantage that currently neither of these nationalities require a Visa in order to settle in the UK
Which brings me to my current predicament. At the start of December, I met a lady in Bratislava, and had 2 very pleasant dates with her. We agreed to talk after I got home, with a view to spending a long weekend in Vienna together. I must admit that I thought we would be talking on Skype, but our communication has been mostly via messages on Viber, with the occasional short phone call. Just before Xmas she sent me a message saying that she had been looking for a long time for a man who would love her and pamper her, and sent me some details of some very expensive shoes and handbags that she likes. I would mention at this stage that she is 47 years old, has her own business and drives a very expensive car - and buys expensive shoes and handbags for herself. So I bought her some gifts, and we met in January in Vienna where we had a very nice time together, I met her sister, who lives and works in Vienna, but she also took me shopping and again I spent a lot of money on gifts - so far I have spent about £4,000 on gifts, without taking into account meals and hotels, etc.
She is now coming to the UK to stay with me for a week, but she has sent me details of a handbag that she would like for a Valentines present - it costs £1,700 !!!
So I really don't know whether she is genuine or not. She is affectionate when we are together, but there are some days when I do not get any messages at all from her (I will send her several messages each day). And when I query this, she will tell me that she was tired from work and went to bed early.
I know that no one can make a decision for me, but I would be grateful for your opinion.
Kevin
Bob's Answer:
Hi Kevin
This is definitely a different "genuine or not" question than I usually get :) More often men say they are in touch with a girl who claims to not have Skype, internet, or a mobile phone, etc. and want to know if she is "real".
Your girl is "real"... You've seen her and spent time together.
I also don't know the culture of those countries as well as I know further East.
Knowing that she is "older" herself (i.e. not under 30-35) and provides well for herself does make it difficult to just label her a "gold digger" outright. "Gold digger" usually applies more to someone who seeks a man for material benefit, but usually it's a girl who DOES NOT provide those material benefits for herself. She's more of a vampire sucking the life out of you.
And the lack of more frequent contact - that could just be the more mature approach. If she's busy and successful, I'm guessing she's going to be less eager to spend a lot of time on Skype and would rather meet in person.
Now that I've said that.... Genuine or not, personally I would think it comes down to whether you can AFFORD HER, and then, if yes, IS IT WORTH IT?
In my personal value system she wouldn't be worth it. I mean seriously... £4,000 in gifts and looking for another £1,700?
This is part of the appeal of going further east: Girls there can be more down-to-earth.
Why did the other girl have trouble getting a visa to the U.K.? When you say the other girl had trouble getting a visa to "settle" in U.K., what does that mean?
Most countries - and I would think UK would be among them - give very high priority to immigrants on the basis of marriage. She might not be able to get a TOURIST visa to just visit for extended period, but I would think a fiancee visa (or the UK equivalent) would be a sure thing.