Is this a Russian scam?

by Mark
(North Carolina)

I have been talking to a young Russian girl. She contacted me we have talked every day for 45 days. I told her several times I thought it was a scam. It made her mad I asked her she took a picture of herself with a sign with my name. She hasn't asked for money but she can't afford visa papers. She wants me to come to Russia to meet her parents. She sounds like she really wants me there. She has gone to huge detail about her life. No dead father just her every day life and writes me every day. She said she goes to the library to email me. She is a beautiful blonde 28 years old. You think scam if she wants me to come there. Thanks for the input

Comments for Is this a Russian scam?

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Bob's Answer
by: Bob

I lean toward thinking it's a scam, but there's really not enough information here to be sure.

Most likely if you read Russian Dating Scams and every page it links to, you'll get a pretty good feel for the answer.

But besides that, how old and well-to-do are you? Because here's a pretty good 99% rule: Young, beautiful Russian/Ukrainian women don't INITIATE contact with old (more than 25 years their senior), average income/wealth men (they may reply, but not initiate).

A few other thoughts...

First you've already accused her of scamming and she's still around. That's a really bad sign. REAL women don't stay in contact after being accused of being scammers.

Second, "She can't afford visa papers". That's believable, but who is bringing up visa papers? U.S. visas aren't a very sure thing for Russian/Ukrainian women anyway.

Just because she wants you to come there (which is obviously her "Plan B" if she was already talking about not being able to afford visa papers) doesn't mean she can't scam you.

If her city is a fairly big city with many other options you could still go, arranging all your own travel and accommodations, and then have a backup plan.

But it smells fishy to me.

28 year old Anna
by: Anonymous

I wrote you earlier about a woman I have been talking to for over a month. She wants to come to see me but papers are expensive. We came down to she wants me to come to Ufa and stay at her parents she said then visit her city not far away. I just told her I want her cell number and want to Skype and see her talking. To me before I go any further. It really hurt her feelings when I suggested a scam. This girl has told me her life story. Is there any way I can send you some of her emails see what you think. I'm no pig I'm a 50 year old guy in good shape she is beautiful I'm starting to care about her she really seems to want to get together. She isn't dumb you can tell by her letters. I told her I'm not rich and showed her pics of my home she said money didn't matter she wanted a good man. Can I send you a couple emails before I blow 2 grand chasing a 28 year old to Russia.

[Bob's Comment:]

Just for future reference it would be better for you to add comments like this to your previous post, and not this unrelated post. Anyway, the options I offer for this are outlined at Russian Women Advice. If you want to schedule a half-hour consult then forward me the emails we can talk about them.

As for the situation...

So she's suggesting you visit her, and even stay at her parents, then visit her nearby city... all before ever speaking on phone or Skype? That's weird.

It may or may not be weird that she was offended when you suggested phone/Skype, depending on how you suggested it. Sure, if you flat out suggested that she was a scammer and you needed the phone/Skype thing to gain a certain amount of comfort with the situation, then I can see her being offended or hurt.

And guys: NEVER ACCUSE SCAM! It's a lose-lose. If you're suspicious, do NATURAL things to address your suspicions, like just ASKING her to meet on Skype... JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SPEAK FACE TO FACE, not because you "want to verify she's real", and so on. If she won't meet on Skype, or at least speak on phone, but wants you to come visit AND STAY AT HER PARENTS' HOUSE, she's probably a scammer and you can just cut off communication.

But the minute you even hint that you suspect a scam, IF THE GIRL IS REAL and SINCERE, most likely she will break off communication and you'll never recover. If she IS a scammer, she WILL submit to your tests and pass.

But if you're not confident enough that a situation is not a scam to make a trip, and you can't get that confidence naturally, then BAIL.

Now back to Anonymous... I lean toward suspicion here, but if I knew more, like how you met, what she looks like, and saw the letters, I could probably be 98% confident one way or another.

Dating scam or love?
by: Joe

I find it very strange to say that I am going through the same situation with Anna. She doesn't have a phone or internet service, she writes to me every day from the library and she wants to come visit me. Do you believe that she is scamming me. I may be falling in love with her.

[Bob's Answer:]

Hi again Joe... in your main post you didn't include this information about her not having a phone or internet. That bumps up those odds of scam to at least 99.99%. Almost all women in Russia/Ukraine have cell phones, and all of them operate on a pre-paid basis where all incoming calls are free.

Olga a 31 year old beauty
by: Mike

I have been receiving emails from Olga for over 4 months now. I'll just get to the point. She needed $550 for air travel to come to Alabama, so I gave it to her. On the day that she was supposed to leave she said that the embassy requires her to have $1400 in her possession. She says that she can give it all back when she arrives. She said a while back that her phone was broken and I mentioned Skype but she always changes the subject in a new email. She supposively has been waiting for two weeks in Moscow for me to send money. Is this a scam?

[Bob's Answer:]

Yes. Just read Russian Dating Scams and every page it links to and you'll see how you could easily identify this as an obvious scam (besides the fact that you were asked for money from a woman you had never met before, who CLAIMS doesn't have access to a phone, and won't Skype...

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