How to Meet Russian Women
So how exactly does a guy meet Russian women who live halfway around the world? With local online matches you usually exchange a few emails, arrange a Starbucks meeting, and usually with an investment of less than $10 for your Frappuccinos and an hour of your time you usually have a pretty good idea of whether the relationship has any chance of going beyond the one meeting.
Obviously to meet Russian women takes a little more planning and effort. And there really is a LOT that you will need to know for you to be successful in this pursuit.
To learn all that you would need to know, you would first need to start on domestic dating sites. That would probably end up with your email address in the wrong hands. Eventually you would start receiving emails from Russian women you don't recognize (but find very attractive) saying they saw your profile online and would like to get to know you. Ultimately you would end up wiring her $1500 for her airfare to come see you only to find that she was a fraud and your $1500 is gone forever.
To learn all you need to know about about how to meet Russian women, secondly you would need to spend a few hundred to a few thousand dollars corresponding with Russian women through pay-per-letter services, only to find that in the end the women you're writing somehow seem to fizzle out before the final "I Do" at the altar.
Then to learn to meet Russian women your next step would be to spend a few thousand dollars going there on group dating tours. If you're lucky you'll realize on the first trip that this isn't likely to end up yielding a "happily ever after". If you're a little slower, you might make several trips before coming to this realization.
OR, to learn to meet Russian women you can just read this site to learn everything you need to know.
Although I have never been scammed, I have encountered all of these paths to meet Russian women, and I document all the results here. So you can either spend years and thousands of dollars making all the most common mistakes chasing down all the scammy, expensive, and/or ineffective ways to meet Russian women, or you can just read this site :-)
Generally speaking, there are really two
THREE primary approaches to this whole endeavor that are most often successful. I call them the Correspondence Approach
, Tour Approach
, and the LIVE THERE APPROACH
Before I describe these approaches I'd like to offer an alternative. If you are really interested in knowing everything about how to meet Russian women, including all the options, advantages and disadvantages to each option, etc., then read on... it's all here. But if you would prefer to just hit the ground running and learn only the essentials, then read Meeting a Russian Woman - Shortcut
You can read much more about each of these approaches in the Correspondence
, Tour Approach
, and Live in Ukraine
sections, but in a nutshell, to use the Correspondence Approach
you meet Russian women strictly through the web, write them, speak to them by phone, Skype, or whatever, and develop relationships that way. You do this until you feel you can narrow your choices down to one special Russian woman, then plan a trip to see ONLY HER!
To use the Tour Approach
, as its name implies, you meet Russian women on an organized tour. Most agencies offer either "group tours" or "individual tours" where you travel to the city of the tour and meet the women from the agency. For the Tour Approach the "individual tour" is the way to go. It's much cheaper and much more effective.
Either the Correspondence Approach
or the Tour Approach
can be successful (if done right the Correspondence Approach has a higher chance of success), but you should consider the advantages and disadvantages of each approach in order to decide which is best for you. We'll briefly compare these approaches here.
Then we'll look briefly at the LIVE THERE APPROACH
Tour Approach to Meet Russian Women
The biggest advantage to the tour approach is that you meet beautiful Russian women face-to-face right away. Just as with local online meetings, you know in 5 minutes if there were any significant misrepresentations (inaccurate pics, exaggerated claims about height/weight, etc.). And in another hour spent over lunch, coffee, or dinner you can have a real sense if you are going to have any connection with the girl (and vice versa) that would warrant a second date. In that time you can learn more than you could in 30 emails each way and hours on the phone.
For the price of one tour ($2,000-$4,000 for a 7-10 day trip, depending on season, location, and other factors) you can meet more than 20 women... three dates per day for six days, then narrowing it down to follow up dates with your favorites toward the end.
There are several downsides to the Tour Approach to meet Russian women. One downside is that you are really limited to one city per trip. You may look at a map and see that Kiev, Ukraine isn't that far from Kharkov, Ukraine, so you think you can really meet girls from both cities. That same distance in the U.S. might be manageable. You probably won't fully appreciate this until you've actually made a trip there, but the fact is that TIME IS TIGHT and DOMESTIC TRAVEL IS TOUGH WITHIN Russia/Ukraine! It's just impractical to try to cover more than one city on a trip. Of course, if you have unlimited funds and time to invest, this problem goes away.
If you start browsing the websites, this may look like a significant deal since there are so many beautiful Russian women spread throughout Russia, Ukraine, and Belarus. You'll start to feel very limited if you choose only one city in which to meet Russian women. But realistically if you just picked Kiev, Odessa (Ukraine, not Texas!), Moscow, or Saint Petersburg you could easily fill your schedule with many awesome prospects.
But there is a substantial downside to the Tour Approach to meet Russian women. It may seem a little unreasonable to some: Many women there consider it an insult to be included on a man's list of many women that he plans to meet. You might think this unreasonable because these women really shouldn't have any claim of exclusivity, right? They've never met you or heard from you. How can they be upset that you are also meeting other women?
There are no absolutes in this issue. There are very good prospects very serious about finding a good man and starting a family who will gladly meet you when you are in their city on a tour. But the reality is that most good, self-respecting Russian women serious about finding their future husband will avoid this kind of arrangement.
Then there's the TIME problem in the Tour Approach to meet Russian women. A 7-10 day visit is over in the blink of an eye. You'll have a good time, but it could take a lot of luck to narrow your choices while there and make significant progress.
Correspondence Approach to Meet Russian Women
There are several advantages of the correspondence approach to meet Russian women. First, it is the easiest and cheapest to get started. Just sign up on a few sites, search for Russian women, start writing, and you're on your way. You may need to pay for a little translation help
, but other than that you can initially pursue it much like you would a local online relationship, at least initially.
Second, it allows you to really broaden your geographical search range. You can meet Russian women from anywhere in the former Soviet Union instead of limiting your search to one city as is necessary using the Tour Approach.
And last but certainly not least, on average you are much more likely to meet Russian women really serious about meeting and marrying a foreign man. As I mentioned above, many women there feel insulted when they know they are only on a man's list of many women to meet. So if you can meet many great candidates through correspondence and then narrow your prospects down to one girl and visit only her, you eliminate this complication. The real trick is doing a good job in getting to know women well enough through correspondence to narrow your prospects down to one.
But there are a few disadvantages to the correspondence approach.
First, unless you and the women you meet online really have some definite goals in mind and know how to participate in the correspondence process, you won't get anywhere. You'll send two or three emails each way then run out of things to say. At that point the only thing left to do is visit. But that's risky because you really haven't corresponded enough to really have any basis for narrowing your search to this one woman. This isn't that big a deal... in the Correspondence
section I show you how to find and identify the women who know how to effectively participate in this process.
Second, if you haven't done a pretty good job of getting to know each other you run a higher risk that when you meet you will feel differently than you did in correspondence... It turns out that she looks a lot better in pictures than in reality, or maybe you look better in your pictures than you do in reality (especially if your pictures were taken 20 years ago :-), etc., etc., etc. Or maybe you just don't "click" in person. If you have had any experience meeting local women online, you probably know what I'm talking about here. Fortunately the advent of Skype video conferencing can really help minimize this risk.
Third, SCAMS! Well, scams are a challenge using any approach and at every step of the way, but in the correspondence approach the scam volume is highest. Fortunately, scams of this type are also the easiest to spot and avoid. These Russian scammer parasites play upon the distance and anonymity involved in the process and attempt to trick you into sending them money. There are countless variations of Russian dating scams, but you can learn all you need by reading through the Scams
section of this site.
Anyway, to use the correspondence approach to meet Russian women you will need to know both (1) how to find good sites that really screen their clients to prevent frauds and (2) how to use the less screened sites without wasting all your time dealing with the frauds. Both these challenges can easily be overcome with a little guidance which you can find here on this site.
I know this is a LONG PAGE, but don't check out yet... The BEST IS LAST!
A Hybrid Approach to Meet Russian Women?
Within the forums that talk about how to meet Russian women there is often heated debate over the pros and cons of Write-Many-Visit-One (WMVO, or the Correspondence Approach), Write-Many-Visit-Many (WMVM), and Write-None-Visit-Many (WNVM, or the Tour Approach).
If your goal is to find a Russian woman to marry, you should either write to many, narrow it to one, and go see only her (Write-Many-Visit-One), OR you should not communicate with anyone and just go with a blank slate (Write-None-Visit-Many).
Why not Write-Many-Visit-Many? Some feel that since a visit costs so much and takes so much time, it is not feasible to always place all your eggs in one basket, so to speak. This makes a certain LOGICAL sense, but there is a far more powerful force working against this approach: How can you meet Russian women online, claim in your profile and letters that you are serious about finding your future partner and that you are a faithful and family-minded man, and then tell them that you'll be visiting several other women during your trip?
See the inconsistency? This makes the "Write-Many-Visit-Many" approach least likely to work out in the long run. Many of the Russian women that would entertain such a visit are "professional daters" or scammers, and women who are serious and self-respecting would never go for it.
The Write-None-Visit-Many approach has a similar downside: When an agency calls a girl to tell her a man saw her profile and would like to meet, the girl KNOWS the man is probably seeing others too. But it is a little less troublesome than the Write-Many-Visit-Many approach because they have not been in advance contact, so she will feel less "double-timed". But it is still a problem... One agency owner told me that when she contacts women to set up such dates their first question is "How many other women is he seeing?", and the answer sometimes determines whether or not they will agree to a meeting.
So then, is there a better method to meet Russian women?
I guess that leaves writing many, narrowing to one, then visiting the one (Write-Many-Visit-One). If you do it well you can get to know a woman well enough from a distance to give you the best chances of success, then make that visit really count.
The biggest downside to this approach is simply the high cost, both in terms of travel expense and vacation time, involved in meeting only one woman per trip. Some would say that this is a very expensive "blind date" (a spurious argument: If you speak to a Russian woman face-to-face on Skype video calls 3 times/week for 3 months, you can hardly call the physical, in-person meeting a "blind date"). This is 99% of the arguments ever offered by those opposed to the "Visit One" method.
Fortunately I have a solution for that... Follow all the instructions for the correspondence approach (Write-Many-Visit-One), then plan a trip to your special woman's city to see only her. BUT, before the trip look up some local agencies in her city, look at their websites, and find out their accommodations. Then if - and ONLY IF - the girl you went to meet completely blows up on you, THEN you convert on the fly to a tour approach (i.e. Write-None-Visit-Many)!
It's kind of a hybrid approach. It's the correspondence approach with the option to call an "audible" (a concept in American football).
This can be a fairly tricky balancing act. If you put too much thought into your backup plan, it can sabotage your primary plan. That's why I usually suggest that this alternate preparation be minimal. Just look up the agencies, look at their sites, store their phone numbers, etc., then put it out of your mind.
The Live There Approach to Meet Russian Women (or Ukrainian in this case)
The approaches outlined above work, but they all involve some fairly difficult challenges, mostly related to TIME and DISTANCE. It's how I opened this page. Go re-read the first paragraph... I'll wait...
What if the most beautiful women in the world didn't live halfway around the world? What if they only lived halfway across the city? What if you COULD just arrange a Starbucks meeting that involved the investment of an hour of your time and $10 to discover whether there should be a second date or not (instead of investing a week of vacation time and $3000 for flights, hotels, food, and entertainment)?
Well, all that IS POSSIBLE! JUST LIVE THERE! It's not for everyone, and for others it is a fairly big leap that requires a big change in mindset, but it is POSSIBLE. I know. I DID IT.
Anyway, to read much more about this "Live There" approach to meet Russian women (or Ukrainian in this case), see Live in Ukraine
Note that although the web plays an important part in any approach you can follow in this endeavor, it is a very specialized kind of "online dating" that has a whole different set of challenges. If you are interested in other varieties of online dating, visit "A Cut Above" (a review of best dating services online)
*** Reviewed/Updated September 2018 ***