Meeting Women Online

Meeting women online is something almost every man has tried. Let's face it, if you're beyond college years and are not in a profession that is naturally conducive to many social connections, online and bars are practically your only options. And by the time a guy gets beyond his twenties, and definitely beyond his thirties, bars become less and less appealing.

I'm going to just assume that you know that, Plenty of Fish, and eHarmony are the big dating sites. The first two work similarly... people post profiles, search for others, write to others. eHarmony is a little different in that it claims a "scientific matching algorithm" to match you with compatible partners rather than let you just randomly shop.

I know that there are success stories from each of these big sites, but here's the dark, dirtly little secret of the online dating world...

Meeting women online is a rigged game!

Dating online for guys typically goes something like this... after spending between a few weeks and a few months in the world of online dating (no matter the site) you're going to make at least two very consistent observations about online dating:
  1. The women who initiate contact with you do not appeal to you in any conceivable way (and that's the nice way of saying it), and...

  2. The women who do appeal to you do not respond when you write them.
If you have not yet made these observations, just bookmark this page and come back in another month or two and pick up where you left off.

Why is meeting women online so hard?

Meeting women online is so hard because the vast majority of even remotely attractive women who post profiles on major dating sites receive a LOT of attention. It's not that unusual for an attractive woman on to receive thousands of messages in a week. Even a "6" on the 10-scale can receive hundreds of messages in a week.

This fact alone explains why meeting women online is like this... The women who do initiate contact with you are not the ones who appeal to you because women better than a "6" on the 10-scale receive so many messages they don't have time to go searching.

They just look for good options in their inbox. If you're lucky enough to be one of the 20 out of 1000 they choose to read, consider yourself lucky. If you're one of the two she answers out of the 20 she read, that's like winning the lottery.

It is a healthy thing to examine yourself and explore the possibility that there may be some flaw in how you're approaching this, but when you can see through the system that women to whom you've written haven't even READ your message or viewed your profile, it's hard to imagine how anything you said in your message or profile could be the problem.

Stop and think about this for a moment... In the span of a week an "8" could easily have 4000 messages in her inbox. You could be the coolest, richest, hottest professional stud athlete or movie star with world-class "pickup skills", but if you write to an "8" at, even you would just be one of those 4000 messages and would probably be overlooked.

Meeting women online is 10 TIMES HARDER if you're over 40!

That's right... all that bad news above is much worse for older single men! I could put you into a coma offering my detailed speculation as to why this may be the case, but suffice it to say that based on the phenomenon mentioned above - how the women seem to be the ones buried in messages - is multipled when the women have one more objective criteria on which they can reject you.

So if you're 50, few 40 year old women will be interested. And attractive 50 year old women are pretty rare (and in HIGH DEMAND).

The solution to meeting women online?

So by now you should see the problem you face. Meeting women online is usually a NIGHTMARE, so what exactly is the solution?

Maybe the solution to dating online for guys is to start drinking, lower your standards, get together with the first woman willing to be with you, see only her great heart, and try to convince yourself that you're physically attracted to her. From watching many couples walking around together in public I would actually suspect that this may already be the most popular approach. Maybe there's something to be said for that.

Or maybe you can join Facebook and social-network yourself into connections with enough attractive "friends" to make yourself feel more popular and less alone (all while never leaving your computer).

If you don't like these solutions, then what else is there? I'm glad you asked... That's exactly what Online Dating Recommendations is all about... See you there!