Online correspondance help

by Mark
(Atlanta, Georgia)

So I've started using http://russian-ukrainian-women.com, which was a great recommendation on your part! I'm getting many responses, but I'd say most of the time I'll get a response that doesn't include a question. Which to me implies that they're being polite or friendly but they don't want to keep the conversation going. Is this correct? Or is their is the Russian culture such that the women do that hoping/expecting you'll pursue them. (i.e. ask them another question)

So for now I've been keeping my openings real simple, with something like a friendly greeting. Then a positive comment based on their profile, followed by a question and then something like "hope you have a good day".

My thought was that if they don't follow-up with a question from their end. Then I'd let them sit a few days or a week and try again.

But I was very curious to hear what your thoughts and experience is regarding this.

Thanks so much!!


Bob's Answer:

Gosh, that's a GREAT QUESTION! I struggle quite a bit with that challenge myself. And it's not at all unique to russian-ukrainian-women.com. I have a very thorough profile text, I write ladies indicating my interest and asking them to have a look at my profile and let me know if they would like to communicate further, and they write back "Hi, nice to meet you" (and haven't even looked at my profile)!

SO, what does this mean, and what can we do about it?

It can mean one of several things, in my opinion. Let's throw them all against the wall and see what sticks...

1) Maybe the girl is buried in messages, doesn't want to be rude, but either isn't extremely interested OR is just spread too thin. I guess this best fits your "being polite but they don't want to keep the conversation going" theory. But more so than women here (U.S.) they do expect to be pursued.

Maybe the best course of action for such a girl is to just try a little harder.

I will tell you a little story that supports this course of action. I once read that when a man obtains a lady's full contact information, it was OK to send an email right away, but it REALLY increased the guy's chances if he followed up with a POSTAL letter with several professional photos enclosed. Remember, postal mail takes three weeks to reach Ukraine from the U.S.! Part of the thinking behind this is that (a) it shows the girl you're a bit more serious, and (b) it makes you really stand out from the 1000 other men who sent her a short email.

Well, there was a girl I HAD to meet, so I emailed her. No reply. But at the same time I sent that recommended postal mail. THREE WEEKS LATER she replied to my email stating that she received my letter, then went back and found my email to reply.

Well, nothing serious came of it (although I have met her several times now and become friends), but it does demonstrate that sometimes if you go the extra mile to get noticed it can yield results.

2) Maybe the girl just isn't that serious. If you're really interested and trying a little harder (as in #1) doesn't have any effect, scratch her off your list and move on.

3) Maybe the girl is a little shy and/or really doesn't KNOW HOW to participate in this kind of dialog. In this case, maybe a little patience and a little persistence can overcome the challenge.

4) Maybe the girl isn't so sure that YOU are serious. One important thing for men seeking a Russian/Ukrainian woman to remember is that at least 95% of the men who write them will NEVER make a trip, and the women figure this out quickly. If a girl is serious, one thing she may be looking for in your message and/or profile is a hint that you are serious too, and not just a waste of time.

I really believe that the ultimate solutions to every one of these possibilities are the same:

A) Be a little persistent. If a girl writes back and says "Hi, nice to meet you", write her back saying "Hi, thanks for writing back, but I didn't really mean for you to tell me your whole life story in one message... that's a little overwhelming... :-) " (MAKE SURE to put the smiley emoticon on something like this!).

I've done this before and had it result in meaningful dialog.

B) Throw a wide net. In the end it's a numbers game. There ARE serious girls out there who will cooperate in the process without being dragged into it kicking and screaming. You just need to keep trying till you find her.

It's happened to me before where it seemed like every woman I contacted for months just wouldn't cooperate at all in dialog, then one writes back saying "Hi, I saw your profile too, you seem like a nice, intelligent man. I would like to get to know you better too, and the best way would be on Skype, WITH A WEB CAM... when would you like to speak on Skype?" Four months later after speaking with her on live Skype video calls 3-5 times/week I was visiting her in her city.

One of the best characteristics of of russian-ukrainian-women.com is the VOLUME, as I point out in my Russian-Ukrainian-Women.com - Review. If right now you can't find 10 women who interest you and cooperate in dialog, in 24 hours there will be 200 new girls, and then 200 more, then 200 more, etc.

And one feature of that site that I really use a lot is the "New users registered within the last __ days" search parameter. If last time I searched was three days ago, I plug "3" in there to see who joined since my last search.

Anyway, those are my thoughts/experiences on the matter... hope it helps!