Russian Online Dating: How to Correspond with Russian Women

In order for Russian online dating to actually help you get better acquainted with Russian women, you will need to (1) communicate much more than than you might normally do with women you meet through a domestic web-based matchmaker (, eHarmony, etc.), and (2) you must be honest (recent, accurate pictures, honest descriptions of you and your life).

Ignore these two things and you will end up wasting a LOT of time and money. With local online dating you can post pictures of yourself from 25 years ago when you were 50 pounds lighter and say all kinds of misleading things about the importance of your work, your success, your income, the size of your house, your height, weight, and fitness level, etc., and you only waste TIME. One day you will actually meet a woman you've been misleading in your imaginary cyberworld and she'll immediately see your story fall apart and the relationship will be OVER.

All that is true with Russian online dating too, but with them you're going to need to spend $2,000-$4,000 (depending on season, location, and other factors) and 7-10 days of your life away from work to meet her before she rejects you for misleading her. The local girl would only cost you a few hours (between writing and one Starbucks meeting) and $10 for the two Frappuccinos before you get dumped.

I met one Russian woman who told me of a man she met whose pictures were obviously taken many years, and pounds, earlier. She told him she didn't even recognize him from his pictures. So he asked, "So are looks that important to you?" She answered him, "No, but looks are obviously important to you, otherwise you would have sent accurate pictures of yourself... did you think I wouldn't notice?"

The fact is he may have had a chance with her if he had sent his recent/accurate pictures, but his obvious dishonesty and insecurity about his appearance turned her off more than the accurate pictures would have. Take heart... ON AVERAGE Russian women are FAR LESS LIKELY to reject you based on looks. Actually a very well-known saying in Russia/Ukraine is that "A man only needs to be a little better looking than a monkey"! Seriously, I have heard this more times than I can count. And looking around at the couples in Russia/Ukraine, it is obviously true.

In Russian online dating you should definitely put your best foot forward, but you must also be honest and realistic. If you post pictures of yourself from 15 years and 40 pounds ago, it's definitely going to backfire.

If there's something about yourself that you think might drive your response rate down, you really have two choices: (1) Embrace it, present it honestly and confidently, and accept the outcome, or (2) if it falls into the category of those things you can change, CHANGE IT. WEIGHT tends to be in that category. As men age, many of them get FAT. On average a woman would prefer a man without the 50 lb. gut than one with it.

Fortunately for you, that gut thing is really something under your control. If you're not quite sure how to go about remedying that kind of problem I highly recommend Weight Loss Uncluttered.

But of course SOME will reject you if you don't have the looks they want. But would you prefer they reject you before you've spent any time or money, or after you've spent countless hours writing, then 10 days and $4000 to travel to meet her?

So with Russian online dating it is best to paint an honest "picture" of yourself (both literally and figuratively). Throughout your communication you must send many recent and accurate pictures of yourself, your activities, your workplace, your neighborhood, etc. There's nothing wrong with trying to make a good impression by sending her your best recent, accurate pictures, just make sure they ARE accurate and recent.

But presenting an accurate picture of yourself is only half the challenge with Russian online dating. The women you write must also cooperate with your communication, telling accurately of themselves and their life, and they too must send recent, accurate pictures. If you already read my page on the best women to write, then you probably won't have much trouble with this, but if a woman isn't cooperating, you should weed her out of your line-up.

You shouldn't accept any excuses from women for not cooperating in the process. Common excuses are things like "I don't have a camera, so I can't send more recent photos...", "I don't have computer at home, and not enough money for internet cafe, so I can't write much... I prefer 'real meetings'..." You really should not accept these excuses. If a girl is serious, she'll find a way.

Another popular excuse you are likely to encounter in Russian online dating are Russian women saying either in their profile or in their messages to you something like "I don't like long correspondence and prefer real meetings..."

In their defense, many men write to them who would never visit and there's nothing wrong with them saying this to weed some of them out. BUT, they still MUST communicate. I usually answer such comments with something like "I prefer real meetings over correspondence too, but since we live a half a world apart we need SOME correspondence to help us know if we are right for each other. I will gladly travel to visit you if we both come to believe we are right for each other..."

Russian woman who say stuff like this are basically trying to have the best of all worlds... Expend no time and effort getting to know a guy before the "real meeting", but then expect him to come see only her. And since making a trip to meet multiple women with whom you've been communicating has a high probability of failure, if a Russian woman won't communicate, just forget her.

There is another element related to Russian online dating that really belongs on its own separate page, but I'll introduce it here... SKYPE. Skype is a web-based audio/video conferencing tool that takes international communication to a new level. You simply cannot do without it.

Click here to read my complete discussion about Skype.

If a Russian woman does not have a computer or internet access, she DEFINITELY has a cell phone, and all inbound calls to Russian cell phones are FREE for the call receiver, so they have NO EXCUSES for not talking to you by phone (as long as you call them).

Communicating by phone is a distant second to Skype video, but still far better than writing alone.

To read more about your options for calling Russia, see my Calling Russia page.