by David

Hello Again,

I could be way off in my estimation of the character of the Russian woman I lost contact with last month on, but I believe she was legit, for she never asked me for a single thing in almost 5 months of correspondence, and her emails were not small, simple letters - they took time to write and always addressed my questions, and her opinions.

Also, she is a very successful niche model, and it did not seem like she would write letters for money, for modeling would seem to be much more lucrative.

If you felt similarly; is there nothing you can think of that might be a way to reconnect with her?

Do you think the American website would have her contact information, or they could retrieve it? They had told me the Russian agency that works with them had her contact information.

How do you think my agency would respond to the threat of me calling their police department with a charge of fraud if they do not help me retrieve her contact information?

If anyone can think of a idea on how to contact her, please let me know.

Thank you,

Bob's Answer:

(Going forward, when continuing discussion on a previous post please just add a comment to that previous post instead of creating another separate post. It just helps keep related material together - Thanks)

To just answer the question, if I were looking for someone in such a situation all I can really think of is to Google her. If she is a successful model who has some kind of agent who manages her social media presence, etc., it seems logical to try there. Contact her through Facebook saying "Hi, I realize someone else is managing this page, but can you please pass a short message on to ____?"

Do you know the identity of the physical agency? If so, contact them. Offering money won't hurt.

Having said all that I still say it's a set up.

Just looking at the home page of that site tells me 99% of what I need to know. And when you say she hasn't asked you for anything, you mean she hasn't asked you for anything beyond the $5 per letter each way ($10 per round trip). Of course I don't know the rates, but if you're paying by the letter she's getting paid from it.

And when you say "successful niche model", have you independently found pictures of her on websites or magazines?

And when you say that modeling would be more lucrative than writing letters that's just not true. It's a very American concept of a model. When we hear a woman is a model, images come to mind like "$10,000/hour" that you may have heard that someone like Giselle Bundchen earns (I'm making up that figure, no need to fact-check, but top models are always very well paid).

In reality even in America 99% of "models" have a day job at Starbucks, or as a waitress or bartender somewhere.

That's even more true in Russia/Ukraine. I would bet that she earns far more from writing letters than from modeling.

There are many beautiful women in Russia/Ukraine that you can meet and even date and marry, but your chances of a real connection with someone on a pay-per-letter site are so close to zero that it's just not worth the time, effort, and money.

Comments for Continued.

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RLM.Com Cont.
by: David

Hello Bob,

Yes, I know the physical location of the American office of (it is listed on their site - they also have a branch in London).

However; I do not know who the Moscow branch is, but obviously RLM has that information.

Which address did you mean that I should contact?

I did call their American office in Florida, and "suggested" money, but the woman said that the Moscow agency they work with has that information. I have thought of making an offer again.

It only costs me $1.66 to write a letter, there is no cost to receive or open letters that women send me, and at the rate of getting a small percentage of $1.66 for letters I send, it would seem a waste of time for a model.

Yes; it has been very easy for me to find websites, articles, and magazines that have her photographs/interviews. When I Google her within a certain category (NOT pornographic), it is easy to find her. Furthermore, her emails were very different from the other women ... reflecting a very strong, individualistic personality that dovetailed into her chosen profession, and unusual interests. I believe her letters were legitimate, at least in reflecting her personality/opinions/temperament: when she disagreed with me about something (which was often) - she would get all wrapped up emotionally in explaining her position - she was thorough and articulate. She was a very opinionated woman, but interesting in good ways ... very different, intelligent, driven, yet open about her physical deficits, for she mentioned there was no perfection.

You are the expert and could be right that she got paid, but when I do the math and consider the effort that went into her long, sometimes intricate letters, I have a sense that she is worth following up, at least for my own piece of mind ... like looking behind the curtain in the wizard of Oz to see who is really there.

Yes, my perceptions regarding what foreign models earn was skewed, though I should have considered that most artists starve.

I will continue to try social media, as that appears to offer a glimmer of hope to look for truth.

I have also thought to look for her, or her friends (who were also on RLM and mysteriously disappeared with dozens of other Moscow members) through other sites.

If you think of anything else, please let me know.

Thank you very much for your help,


RLM.Com Cont. - 2
by: Bob (Site Owner)

I meant to contact the most local agency, but really any of them in the chain that might know her direct contact information.

Good luck!

by: Anonymous

"She" is not a model. "she" is a employee of RLM who sent you pictures of someone they found online. Continued
by: David


I believe this site is scamming on some level: as a way of making them face the consequences, do you know what typically happens when a member of such a site files a complaint with law enforcement in their state? In this case; the agency is located in Florida.

I would think law enforcement would want to know about potential scammers... I think I would like to pursue this, if just to see their reaction.

I have even thought of giving them a choice of dealing with my complaint via law enforcement, or they can give me the contact information of the lady in question.

Any opinions?

Thank you.

RE: Continued
by: Bob (Site Owner)

Well, I would agree that they're scamming you on some level. But think of this from a law enforcement perspective: What can you PROVE beyond a reasonable doubt, or even with the "preponderance of the evidence" (as in civil law)? And further, did they even do anything that violates their terms of service?

I mean if their terms of service essentially say that affiliate offices are fully independent and that the U.S. part has no control over the Russia part, then what? To some extent this is exactly what AFA's user agreement says (see A Foreign Affair - Review).

And, what if the user agreement actually says that the agencies are even ALLOWED to write on behalf of woman?

You go to court and the first thing the opposition says is "David implicitly agreed to these terms and understandings when he joined the site...". Judge: Case dismissed.

There's just no way approaching this legally - either through civil or criminal avenues - gets you anywhere. It's a complete waste of time, effort, emotion, and money. And it doesn't put any kind of "scare" into the perpetrators.

The only reasonable, logical thing to do at this point is walk away and never use pay-per-letter sites again. The VAST MAJORITY of them do this crap at some level. Continued
by: David

While they may be almost untouchable, if no one takes a stand against scammers by at least filing a complaint, future customers will be abused.
It does not take much energy to file one complaint, and if more people did this, the cumulative word on the street against scammers, will have a negative impact and cost them money. Why enrich them by doing absolutely nothing?

RE: Continued v3.0
by: Bob (Site Owner)

I feel your frustration, but I guess seeing sites like this survive and thrive no matter how skeezy they are gives me a more realistic outlook.

My site gets thousands of page views every day, and it tells any man willing to listen, NEVER USE PAY PER LETTER SERVICES. It's in practically every other post. That's not "doing absolutely nothing". That surely has a thousand times the impact of filing a criminal complaint.

A complaint will be seen by maybe two pairs of eyeballs besides your own, then it will live in a filing cabinet until the end of time. Really, that's all that will happen. No "cumulative effect".

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