Ukraine women who use men for gifts, money, vacations...

by Sid
(New York City)

Ukraine women who use men for gifts, money, vacations...

So I met this girl on one of the sites you recommend, russian-ukrainian-women.com (note, I find this site to be the best of the bunch, but there are definitely scammers here). She actually reached out to me first. She's 22, I'm a good 20 years older. We started a dialogue, which was fairly benign.

A note about her messages, she using odd language, which is obviously translated, but she'll say things like "Oh Sid, you seem such a remarkable man, and courageous, it would be such wonderful to know you better", etc.

One of the first things I do is search for any woman I encounter on VJ.com. I found her there and she has an extensive profile, a normal amount of friends, a history of pictures, so a legit profile... she does have 1000 followers. She also has a recent Facebook page, only two posts, but 3000 followers.

I decided to friend her on VK, which she accepted, and we started further dialogue there. But no back and forth dialogue, she would respond only once per day.

I asked her if she wanted to meet for a beach vacation... she was happy to accept. I mentioned Belize, where she would need a visa. She told me that in Ukraine it is difficult to get a visa, but you can buy a permit in Ukraine that will assure acceptance. Generally I was not too serious about her, but wanted to follow through with it to get to a 'punch line'. She never overtly asked for anything.

In any case, I changed the destination to Barbados, where Ukrainians do not need a visa. She was happy with that also. So no more talk of 'permits'. Since, we have exchanged numbers and talk on WhatsApp and I continue to plan a trip. I asked for a copy of her passport, which I thought would test her, but she sent it immediately. All information accurate.

So long story short, she is happy to meet a man she's never met, and has limited correspondence with, and share a room and bed with in Barbados. I have actually mentioned this to her and her response was along the lines of "you are a brave, courageous and intelligent man, I trust you"... well OK :)

I should also note that she has a profile on loveme.com also. And many pictures on her VK profile she is holding large bouquets of flowers. I assume she gets many gifts.

Generally, I am happy to spend a week on a beach with a beautiful young woman... and I really have no long term intentions with her. My question would be, is this worth pursuing, or should I expect some bullshit when we are together.

Looking for your thoughts Bob!


Bob's Answer:

I agree about scammers on Russian-Ukrainian-Women.com. With the kind of volume they do there's just no way they can completely effectively police everyone, so you still need to use common sense. But please report suspicious activity when you encounter it (report to them, not me :)

As to your situation... Your girl sounds suspicious to me. And by suspicious, I just mean something isn't right. Her name, location, and pictures may all match, but a 22 y.o. who writes a 42 y.o. with all the mushy stuff, "you seem such a remarkable man, and courageous, it would be such wonderful to know you better".

But as to this vacation question... having a tropical vacation as your first meeting is always a bad idea, and one of the main reasons that it is a bad idea is simply because it introduces the element of motive: Is she going because I'm giving her this vacation she couldn't otherwise get, or is she serious?

Of course if you aren't serious yourself, as you seem to say, then it's difficult to be critical of her motives :)