Unspoken Gold-digger myth

by Mark
(Winston Salem N.C.)

I've seen this a few times. The age difference between U.S. men and younger foreign women sometimes results in the woman being hated by other U.S. family members.

The case/s I saw were like this.

The new husband's nieces, daughters, and sons secretly feel that the foreign wife just plans to outlive the husband. And she very well may in cases. I overheard their conversation as they deliberately spoke up to try and start trouble.

Men love their new wives and wills change. Or the selfish kids fear it will be changed. The myth is that she chose the husband for his material belongings. Myth = Young Russian wife is just a Gold-digger. Sad as the kids are adults. The myth is a front to disguise family jealousy. The new Husband really wants his family to be happy for him, and the entire marriage, or planned marriage.

The family was lead into this belief by one member of the family. I watched the disingenuous transformation. The wife to be in this case was young. I advised her to get an attorney and have legal living rights at the home drawn up and signed. To protect her prior to the marriage which was not far off. Or until the BS came to a head and stopped.

Within a month or less I got a call. It was the bride to be. She was not Russian but she was in hysteria. She was screaming "Ben is dead"! The bride to be was giving CPR. Husband to be passed away. Cause of death was heart attack. When cops, and ambulance arrived the niece was smoking a cigarette like she just had sex. Smug and uncaring. The niece had been escalating that evening verbally against the bride to be.

I stepped up and got the young female out. Then back in as her things we're there. I also took her to the hospital due to her nerves. She had to keep her bedroom door locked until she could get home. The niece maintained a smug attitude until the young woman was out of the house.

I'm certain this is a rare case of events. But there's a lesson from this. U.S. couples may date much longer before marriage. If statuses are going to change, some families don't acclimate as fast as the happy couple. Take the time to do what you have to do! Protect your new bride to be, and yourself. Put yourself in each person's place.

I've heard Gold-Digger whispered in a number of families. Over 10 years latter I'm still shocked at what this myth/event escalated to!

The niece inherited the house. One of a few homes. Upper class family.

The Bride to be left over using Seroquel for her nerves; without a pot to pee in.

Bob's Answer:

Oh the blessings of poverty :) (well, not so much "poverty" per se as much as just not having enough that anyone would bother to fight over).

I do imagine that that dynamic is more often related to age differences than the nationality, but I'm sure the foreign component adds to it.

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