Womans's approch to online dating

by Francesco
(Italy)

Hi Bob! I'm here again with another question :-)

This time I'd like to know your opinion or experience about the Russian/Ukrainian approach to the online dating; in particular I'd like to know if they tend to use some kind of Write-Many-Meet-One approach or do they tend to write/communicate with one man at once? If this last approach is more used, is it more likely to get a positive response from a girl that is quite new to a website (like Elena's Models) than a girl that is more veteran of the website (no matter if she is very often online)?

Thanks in advance for your answer


Bob's Answer:

(sorry for the delay in answering...)

The whole WMVO/WMVM/etc. ("Write-Many-Visit-One", "Write-Many-Visit-Many") thing is more on the men's side and often driven by the cost and logistics of making the trip.

I think that out of necessity the women more often Write-Many-Meet-One. I don't have any actual statistics, but I'd guess that less than 5% of the men who write will ever make a trip. So the girls need to write till they find a man they think is serious enough to start talking about a meeting within a relatively short time of communication. AND given the relative scarcity of men who will actually travel to meet, they meet one at a time.

So I guess they are more Write-Many-Meet-Whoever-Comes-Next.

As for the other question about whether Russian/Ukrainian woman new to the online international dating arena are more likely to commit to a Write-Many-Meet-One... I would think yes, R/U women new to the online international dating arena is probably more likely to be willing to meet a man online and allow the relationship to become "exclusive" (i.e. she'll discontinue communication with other men if you seem to be serious about meeting). "Veterans" to the online world eventually learn that only a small percentage of men will actually travel to meet, so they're usually less willing to close off their other options until further along in the process.

The real challenge, of course, is on our side: Are we willing to plan a trip to visit one girl who is still actively pursuing other online relationships?

My own personal inclination would be to not make such a visit. For me to take off at least a week of work, spend the money for the flights, lodging, and entertainment makes this an activity I might be able to do 2-3 times/year at most. If it doesn't work out, I'm back to square one while the girl can entertain another visitor later on the same day I leave!

And if I agree to visit such a girl with the understanding that I'll be free to see other women (since she's still entertaining other men online), it tends to make the one that I've been writing a little less serious, and consequently reduces the chances that the relationship can really progress.

HOWEVER, I think I'd feel differently if I lived in Europe. Rome-to-Kiev is around 1690 km (1050 miles)... a two-hour flight. I think it would be a lot less complicated.

Hope that helps!